giN kuAN-DEVIL!

how about mine?

2009-09-17T22:15:00.006+08:00

Said i would post here again hahas.
Seems like blogger miraculously 'recovered' after i had livejournal.

--
[edit]
Narh.
I shouldn't have bothered
[edit/]
10.52PM
--

Arh.
Feels good.
Oops.
Feels bad.
Cause i cannot use ugly words.
Lets be civilise.

Hahas.

Hurrah,
Lets all move on :D

Livejournal.2

2009-09-13T10:24:00.000+08:00

Yes i am finally done with LJ.
And i super love it :D
I will think where to post hahas.

Do visit it and leave comments!

:D

cerchero.livejournal.com

Why Cerchero?
It's an italian word and it means i will try.
:D

Livejournal.

2009-09-11T15:37:00.000+08:00

I just created a livejournal account.
Will be using both.
Haven't finish setting it up yet.
Will post the URL here when i am done (:

Blogger is just too stucked up.

east coast.-class outing.

2009-09-10T22:36:00.000+08:00

It's the class outing.
Everything was OK.
Nothing much really.
I only enjoyed my self cycling hahas.

Just damn tired now.
The nice bicycle shop uncle gave us extended timing!
Damn damn damn shuang.
If not will quite exp!
Hahas.

We chiong-ed like siao to go back after setting up those clues.
We did not collect all the clues.
Some are still left in ECP XD
Hahas.

Today is still v tiring.
I love to cycle larh!

And the best part is, Dad didn't gave me a curfew.
But still cannot too late larh!
Must automatic yi dian.
Go home earlier.
Still reached home about 10.
Not v early anyway.

My eyes are red since after setting the clues.
My eyes turn red whenever i am sleepy LOL.
It is not those kind of sore eyes and all.
You can see like the eye lid and eye lash there is bit red.
LOL.

Guess it's time to sleep and i'll continue doing homework tmr!
:D

i'm amazed.

2009-09-09T20:09:00.000+08:00

I'm amazed at how well you can handle.
Maybe you just don't show.

I know i can do it!
FIGHTING.

9th september 2009.-090909

2009-09-09T16:43:00.001+08:00

Special isn't it?

Well i think there would be many couples getting married today?

Whatever.
Today wasn't very pleasant.
Lots of beating round the bush.
Was pretty pissed.
And still have to use my suan-ing skills for Elephant.
Was pretty pissed.
Would not say it's horrible cause it's pretty extreme, i would prefer to think today just wasn't very pleasant.

Was pretty pissed in the morning, after lesson and after lunch.

Whatever.
Tomorrow is Class Outing.
Hope it will be fun.

I just wanted the truth.
Say it nicely, i won't bite.

back

2009-09-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

Back from Facial already.
Its slightly swollen.
Whatever.
Always like that der marh.
Bit annoying.
There was one pimple i was like curling up.
Cause V pain.
Then the person some more laugh at me.
Walao.

LOL.

Guess thats all.
I think i finally found a gym that don't need to be above 16.
-Cheers- :D

criticize

2009-09-08T14:10:00.001+08:00

Don't criticize me just yet.
Cause you don't know who i am and what i was thinking about.
If you choose to think i am boastful so go ahead.
It doesn't matter.

I knew just what was going to happen.
It's called strategy, boosting of MORALE.
You can never win if you have low morale.
It's up to you.

At the end of the day you will know, criticizing won't help. Cause you are just so superficial and will never know me deep down.

I know i know, you wouldn't bother.
Hahas.
It's over and i won't think about it.
Because unlike some people, I let it go easily.
I don't whine or find a punching bag just because of something so silly.
Most importantly, I don't criticize people over such stuffs.

:D

sigh.

2009-09-08T13:46:00.000+08:00

I am getting giddy from eating infront of the computer.
I keep bending down, the table is not tall enough you see.

I have to train all the way to Chinatown alone later.
Cause i Pangseh-ed mum last friday.
Facial is going to take up 1 and a half hour.
Need to find ppl to text if not will look like stupid loner LOL.

Yes I guailan-ed Screaminvasan in class earlier on.
Bet he is going to complain to Ms Chan.
Call my parents if you want.
Told Dad and Mum already.
Dad is pretty pissed at me defying the teacher.
He gave me a lecture when i got, ( he is back for lunch you see.)

At least Dad said it nicely.
I need to keep saying I don't hate Physics.
I hate Screaminvasan.
Dad said ask me don't give up on the subject.
I NEVER GIVR UP PHYSICS larh.

Mum was um ok?
I asked Mum to just fire and scold him.
Mum said 'I cannot say too much, all i can say is what i heard from you'
I guess thats enough already.

Oh when i called Dad to tell him Sreeni may call, Dad was like " Warh you girls always like that, give Teacher attitude then want us help you settle, got attitude how? What you want me to say to him? 'Fuck Off don't talk to me?'"
I was kinda shocked when dad said Fuck off.
Never expected that from my dad.
At least Dad is going to say Fuck off at sreeni
Thats Super shuang.

Ok enough about Sreeni.
We had Choir Bonding ytd.
It was alright.
Even though i wasn't a leader, tried to help out.
Turns out alright :D

At least Blueorange had fun i guess :D

Was dead beat afterthat.
And still have to walk home with Shermaine.

I am having muscle aches this morning.
Muscle aches shows i am doing work.
HAHAS.

Ok enough already.
Time to go bathe.

Bye.

Cool.

2009-09-06T19:56:00.000+08:00

Omg the weather is super duper COLD.
I am shivering now already.

Had good food again today :D
Ahaha.

Seafood at Yishun.
Dad seemed to be in a good mood hahas.
Had Seafood twice this week!
Friday at long beach and today at Yishun Bottle Tree Park.

Crab Crab Crab hahahas.
Cannot imagine eating Jacqueline XD

Ah its super cold!

I want to go watch Charlie Angels!

you.

2009-09-05T20:07:00.000+08:00

我每次都被你害得遍体鳞伤.
一次又一次,害我无法自拔.
那都是你的错.

被你骗了三次,足够了.

无法再次相信你,却无法忘记.

我不想再陷下去了.

我会尽力而为.
I will try.
Ik zal het proberen.
Je vais essayer.
Cercherò.
やってみます。
노력 할게요.
Я постараюсь.
Lo intentaré.
Jag ska försöka.

--

Sorry for the extremely cheena post.
It just striked me.

depressed.

2009-09-02T20:52:00.000+08:00

Extremely depressed now.
Even though knowing that being depressed doesn't help.
But i just can't help it.

--

Tmr is Sports Carnival.
Hope everything will turn out fine.
It's going to be a long long long day tmr.

Prefect's investiture is alright.
We had free lunch after that.
Super nice, at least i don't need to spend money for lunch
Budget Budget!

Argh.
Still depressed.
Guess i've still got to do homework.

Bye.

Where is my happy ending?

2009-09-01T15:16:00.002+08:00

Slacked the whole day.
Time to start doing homework.

Its 3.16pm
Still v lazy to continue yesterday's post XD

Whatever.
Bye.

east coast.

2009-08-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

Went cycling at East Coast, it's SUPER tiring after that.
I am dead beat now.
Just now when cycling is energetic der lorh.
I am currently closin my eyes to type.
Too Tired.
I am waiting for Jerlin to upload the pictures.
Including ytd ones.
Today never really take any pictures though.

Too tired to continue.

To be continued..

Teacher's day.

2009-08-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

Was out the whole afternoon for teacher's day stuff and all.
Had fun but its tiring.

Took pictures at the end.
Quite abit of Ass shots hahas.
I cannot find my phone cable.
I didn't lose it.
It ran away.

LOL.

I ll start my phone cable hunt now.
Bye!

dad

2009-08-29T12:34:00.000+08:00

Decided to post my results.
Too bored and don't want to let my mind wander too much.

English 17/30 C5
Chinese 76/100 A1
E Maths 29/50 C5
A Maths 25/50 C6
E Geog 12.5/50 C6
History 22/25 A1
Chemistry 45/50 A1
Physics 27.5/50 C5
L1R5: 18

Full of Cs.
Told dad i had three A1s.
He said : out of eight three As. then he gave those kind of asshole laugh. sounds like hmph.
I guess my teenage life will be full of my dad.
He keep repeating his irritating story of whatever he did in his teenage years that made him the way he is now.
He don't want me to follow his steps.
He simple don't understand that i won't.

Whatever.
Lets not start on my dad.
Hope to drag him to Meet the Parent session.
Hope Ms Chan could talk some sense into him.

Harry Potter.

2009-08-28T19:35:00.002+08:00

I urge all 'Harry Potter' fans to finish watching the Series.
If not you will think Prof Snape is some asshole bad guy.
Actually he is v noble.
He is a good man. He did all those stuffs to PROTECT Harry Potter and Lily Potter!
Prof Snape is a 100% good person.

HE IS A GOOD GUY :D

--

Just reached home.
Dad OBVIOUSLY is bushuang with me.
My dad had been a real ass this few days.

Talked and played the whole afternoon.
Just a normal day out.

CaoShaoYan and LauZhiHao keep laughing at me -.-
Shaoyan wants me to play the ball with him then i miss he laugh at me.
Kick wrong direction also laugh at me
Even ZhiHao does that.
ZhiHao some more, Eh Gk you want to practice arh?
LOL! Bit walao eh LOL.

Maths Homework is WOOHOO.
Ms Tan bian say love us bian add on homework.
Super Hardcore.
She hear hard core as pa tuo LOL.

They say Ms Tan like my best friend LOL.
Anything larh.
Have maths teacher as best friend not bad leh.
At least dunno maths ask her.
LOL.

Ok i want to go watch Chnnl 8 and Chnnl U der last EP.
Left 15 mins.

Bye!

it's just too late.

2009-08-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

Nothing you so can actually salvage the harm you incur.
I may not be one of the most affected ones but i can feel the difference.
Move on, nothing you do is going to bring things back as how it was.
Don't reminisce, it's not going to help.

Things change, people moves on.
It's not our fault that you threw the chance she gave you.
You had two chances before things turned ugly.

You did not make full use of it.
It's too late to think back now.

Shut this big drawer that contained memories of six of us tight in your heart.
Don' open it anymore, it's just going to pain you.
Don't look back.
We still had a year ahead, look forward, think what can save you out of this situation now.
I will pray and wish for you.

'After a whole round of beating round the bush, we end up with pain and memories'
Like i said pictures speak a thousand words, it will stab you thousand times.
Don't look at them anymore. It will stab you a thousands times worse then replays of postive memories of us together.

We may not be close.
You have my wishes.
Take care.

--

School is alright.
Me'mory is staying with me tonight.
Can't have enough laughter of it.

Hope i don't forget to bring Me'mory to school tmr!
Lots of homework undone ):

shoo.

2009-08-23T19:29:00.000+08:00

Go away.
I cannot bear to think again.

I don't know what to do to stop thinking.
It's just painful.
Other than that, i don't know how to describe.

Save me will you?

tried.

2009-08-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

I cannot stop myself from trying to log on.
But i will always end up with a permission denied.
I hate you for removing that.
At least you knew i would try.
Maybe you are just protecting me from knowing more, from reminiscing.

I hope its that.
But maybe you should not.
Not knowing whats happening to you makes me jumpy.
I want to know if it was just me or what.

I cannot stop trying to hope.

it's true.

2009-08-22T12:18:00.000+08:00

I can finally what people mean by pictures speaks a thousand words.
Because when you see a picture that hurts you,
The pain stabs you a thousand times.

That's just how much it hurts.

cool

2009-08-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

Ok its lame but.
If you noticed, the timing for my last post it my birthday!
11.14

Cool.

over.

2009-08-22T11:14:00.000+08:00

Common Tests are over:D
Enjoy while we still can.
EYEs are on the way!

Dad's new car is coming today!
I'll post both old and new car pictures when blogger is not that sucky.

It's really nice to gain control back on.
My life and everything.
Have been quite a wreck due to CT.
And all the things that had been happening recently.

I don't know what to say now.
I just want to slack off and all.
Those who had been talking to me will know i've been waking up in wee hours in the morning.
Like 3 or 4 and all.
To mug.
Dun play play. LOL.

Alright i'll end here.
Bye.

good day.

2009-08-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

Today was quite slack.
Things are well.
Other than homework.
Homework is a disaster.
LOL!.

SREENI NEVER COME.
THATS THE BEST PART OF THE DAY!

'NO SREENI HAHA!'

SUPER COOL.
Yes yes thinking of not seeing black sreeni's face for an hour makes me happy!

Otherwise, the day is slack!
I may be feeling happy about sreeni but well.
Due to the big drawer.
I can't think of anything that i want to type anymore.
I just feel like watching tv.
Or just sleep.

Yes,
I am very very very angry at my dad for inviting his kakis to our home for mahjong.
He knew well that we are having school tomorrow, still can invite!
I was grumbling at dinner time when i am super hungry but cannot eat.

-A Hungry Woman Is An Angry Woman!

pain.

2009-08-11T20:40:00.000+08:00

The big drawer snapped open.
And it hurts.
No matter how big that padlock is and how striking the 'Out Of Bound' sign may seem.
It will still come out.
Plain sucky feeling, you knew it should no longer hurt but it still does.

It will just POP out of thing air.
And whatever you had seen.
Whatever that is in the drawer, you'll start to see it.
That's when you start thinking back.
That's when the muscle ache would come.
You may laugh on the surface, you know deep down you feel it.

i don't know.

2009-08-09T21:48:00.001+08:00

How would you react?
If it was something you thought you had control of.
Till the very end, when you thought you are victorious, it just slipped out of your hands.
That's most probably the most torturous thing you can do to a person i guess.

Only when you really need something/someone, then you really realise you don't have that something/someone.
By then its kind of too late.
You only realise when you need it.

--

I am stuck at home thanks to dad.
Dad thinks i had gone astray.
When i asked about today's Marina thing he brought up the police station thing again.
'You'll only know you had gone astray when you are in the police station. By then it's too late.'
I seriously hope some one can talk some sense into my dad.
-.-
He needs counselling.
Totally ridiculous.
Yea yea i am going with thugs and street gangsters.
I smoke and i drink. Happy?

He just keeps accusing me.
And when i asked him to stop accusing me, mum would use that to backfire at me.
No wonder the two can get married and have me.
Its impossible to not to see how this two are alike..

--
I have a hunch that CT is going to be disastrous.
Don't feel good.

Let's not rake about studies now.
I am having a Pet's society National Day.
Other than dinner and the NDP show, i am in my room, pets society-ing.

I wonder how tomorrow will turn out.

suffocating.

2009-08-08T13:39:00.000+08:00

I feel like i am suffocating.
Studies, family expectations, surrounding peer pressure.
All kinds of pressure.
CT is up next.
I totally have no mood to study.
I feel like its the end of the road.
Have the very bad feeling of that i am going to fail alot subjects.
Its not normal for me to fail a subject.
I am not trying to be arrogant or what.
It took me a nice couple of days to recover from failing my physics CT.
Now look at my physics madman(he never was a teacher in my eyes.)

I feel very unsure, unsure of how to play the next piece of my chess.
I don't want to get checkmate at this point of time after all my effort and all.

Go Ginkuan.
--

Yesterday was 070809.
Pretty special eh?
I only realise when Mum was signing the car contract.
Mum and Dad decided on the new car.
Its going to be white.
Its coming in a week or two.
The new car is a monster.
Its HUGE, functions and all.

Its the Mitsubishi Delica D:5
Its not a VAN.
Its a MPV, with body kit and all.
Really intimidating to stand directly infront of it.

--

Tomorrow is national day.
Guess i have to wish Singapore happy 44th birthday(:

With Love
Ginkuan

4 Facts :D

2009-08-04T18:23:00.000+08:00

Arh this week is almost half gone.
Commontest coming in anth week or so.
Damn.
I still cannot get into my mugging mode.
Totally lazy as a pig.

Since today is the 4th of august,
4 facts it shall be.

1) I am looking hard for my happy place.
2) I am striving hard to create my happy place.
3) I am really really really lazy at school.
4) I bloody hate Sreenivasan.

Physics lessons is a torture.
Its just like suffering hellfire.
Horrible.
I want to go to my opulent sanctuary!(new words from English!)
Yes yes i am trying very hard to improve my 'grandiose' vocabulary.

School had been really really really dry.
School with 2I5 wasn't like that.
I was missing them, I am missing them, I will be missing them.

3S2 would never be close to what 2I5 was.
Half. That would be my lowest expectation.
3S2 is almost there already.
Time passes, things and people changes.

Oh MT today was the only 'non' dry lesson thanks to Ms Yau for not turning up.
I was totally laughing about Hush Hush the remix.
I was like frightened by its sudden picking up of speed and rock beat.
I was laughing at myself like an idiot.
Precelia was grooving to the beat with me.
It was a funny scene.
Thats probably the best part of the day.

Afterschool timing is normal.
Left school with Rouyi and Joyce.
The girls are in total different direction.
Otah-ed.
A girl with Otah is a happy girl!
LOL.
I ve been spending quite abit of money recently.
TOOMUCH.
Time to start saving.

Physics is totally SCREWED up.
Its so bad i want to burst into tears.
There is another test tomorrow.
Feel like just leave everything blank.

Its not my fault Sreeni sucks.
I dont even want to call him my teacher.
Its as easy as why when Ms Chen was my teacher i could jump from a fail to an A2?
Sreeni.
I could only pray i pass.
I don't want to screw all the confidence i got for Physics just because of Sreeni.
For goodness sake.
Sack bloody Sreeni away.
We would not be greedy.
We just want Ms Chen we would not ask for Mr Loh.

Lastly,
SREENIVASAN SUCKS.

Back from BBQ.

2009-08-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

BBQ wasn't bad.
Tried my best to help out when i can.

Didn't eat much.
Sad right.
I know Rouyi is sad she never eat much :D
The girls seemed pretty bored today though..
The guys which met us at the NTUC were nice to helped us carried the food.
So we did not really carry any food,cook any.
We just bought, prepared the food and eat :D
Our class guys are pretty cool in a way though.
Went swimming.
Thanks Sarah who lent me her shorts.

Dead beat for the day.
Dad says want to jog tmr morning.
I was still laughing at the band people when they had to wake up at reach school at 6.30
Seems i only going to have an extra hour of sleep more then them.

OR maybe i'll just skip jogging!
:D
Damn tired.
Guess going to stop here.
Its late and my eyelids are drooping.

Good Night!

Back.

2009-08-01T15:15:00.000+08:00

My computer is finally back.
They changed the whole motherboard.
Which is like so cool :D

Com is still as fast as before.
Just one bad thing.
My typing is really really bad now):
I keep gettting the wrong keys and all and have to keep retyping!

Leaving for BBQ in while.
Half an hour later i was still dreaming that warh tonight can v late come home.
In the end my dad 'Before 10 come home arh!'
Then i damn sian so in the end we DEALED at around 11.
Mum said ' Eh you all buying pork arh!'
Means like bargaining and all.

Pretty lame.
I totally have no idea what we are going to buy at NTUC.
Its like OTAH idk have anot.
Hope it turns out fine.

I have to end now.
But the Printer software is bloody slowwww...
Gosh.

With love.
Ginkuan

Untitled.

2009-07-31T22:54:00.002+08:00

Another week just passed with all the testa and homework.
Class barbeque tomorrow. Have no idea what to expect.
I realise that i had been struggling through days with boring lessons, hoping and end to the lessons.
Whenever the last bell rings, it just lifts my spirits.

Was pretty late today.
Dad kinda nagged at me.
Lucky wasn't any later.
YJH still wanted me to drag on.
Crazy man.
I ve still got BBQ tomorrow cannot offend my dad!
I am just going to be a good girl and complete ALL my homework tomorrow.
I ll give my best :D

--

Things changed, people moved on.
I don't see why we should not.
It just felt like being tied down.
There are just times i am sick of tired trying to make myself be nice to people whom i don't want to.
Letting down the whole charade may just let me feel better.
Offend and Offensive.
Thats what people do and feelings felt.
When trying to be offensive, don't be too blatant about it.
It just puts people way off.
Or maybe thats what you did wanted.
To put me off.
You too are letting off your very own charade.
I ve seen it through.

Too much of a conspiracy makes me sick.
You do so much things just to hit your target.
Or maybe you will be thinking i ain't worth your planning whatsoever but i never really did cared if you planned or not.
Cause if i know a tsunami is coming.
I would not be waiting it for it to hit me.
I need to make my escape.

-
Not attacking at any particular personel,if offended, i hereby apologise.
-

Its pass 11.
Time to call today an end.
Bye love(s).

Time flies.

2009-07-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

Omg such a lousy title.
Well time does fly.
Its just like yesterday when we were being seperated to our new classes and all of us are whining.
Look its already Term 3 week 5!
Geez.

School is kind of horrible in a sense that never ending homework, tests and quizzes.
Worse of all its almost CT2!
Horrible horrible.

Spent the after noon with Mag and Zhixian.
I totally cannot stand people who try to imitate MJ when they totally look like masturbating.
I am so sorry to use that word.
MJ doesnt look like he is doing any weird things, but when some people with watermelon haircut tries,
its just blackens the name of MJ.

Man.
Totally cannot stand the sight of it.
I shall end here.
Mum is out and I ve got Maths worksheet ):

With love
Ginkuan

change of skin.

2009-07-08T20:12:00.003+08:00

I took an hour to change the damn skin.
Finally to my liking.
Once again, TheBikiniBoy.
Other skin will just go haywire.
Seems like i am stuck with TheBikiniBoy.

I totally updated the links.
Like wow finally.

Oh and if that picture there is horrible, drop me a note. (Politely)
I ll take it down.

Thats all for the day I guess.
Now its homework time.

Edit:
Suggest something to change away the 'It is a shame i am your lover'
Its original from TheBikiniBoy.
I couldn't think of anyother nicer ones, so suggest something at the tag board.
Thanks.
/Edit

headache.

2009-07-08T18:14:00.002+08:00

I was experiencing a terrible piercing headache since yesterday night.
It seemed to subside this morning when i woke up but still feel damn off.

Thought of skipping school then realise there is SPA.
Then History as well, I don't want to miss History, especially its the best part.
The war part, thats the whole thing that I wanted to take History.
This is the interesting part uhs.

Missing SPA is damn troublesome, have to make up etc.
I cannot stand facing Mr Sreeni alone -.-

Maybe i'll skip school tomorrow.
But thinking again, I haven't been absent since term 1 of sec 3!
Do i reallyyyy want to break the nice record i have?
I don't know.
But the urge to skip school is really strong!

It came back during lessons.
I cannot shake my head whatsoever or i can feel the pierce.
Pretty horrible.

I will see how things are tomorrow morning then.

--

Its how amazing when you aren't suppose to feel happy but you are, when you aren't suppose to feel angry but you are. Feelings and emotions control us all around. If you can control a person's feelings or emotions, it's as good as controlling that person. I will not let you manipulate me anymore

--

"I doubt anybody is reading anyway, attention not needed."

With love
Ginkuan

piece of junk.

2009-07-07T19:40:00.002+08:00

School is lame as usual.
Spent the afternoon with the girls.
We chatted and time passed.
That how usually girls spend their time eh?

--

You are just a piece of junk.
Like seriously, I have totally no bloody idea why would I even talked to you.
You removed me from the list.
Good, I will just treat I don't know you.
Bloody piece of junk.

I was still going mad about the person in the morning
when I just went over and you removed me from the list.
I think i am going to blow.
How i wish that i can actually see you right this minute to give you a tight slap.
You are just bloody cheap, going around snogging my buddys.
Piece of junk.
I've seen you through and through.

I wish you can hear me laugh.

--

Yeah , yeah.
'Nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong with not communicating for three full days'
What a joke.

Cheap like nobody's business.
It wasn't my business from the start.
Should not even bothered to try.

--

Great I need to flush you out of my head like now cause the more I think, the more my blood boils.

Piece of junk.

urge.

2009-07-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

I have the urge of just crashing into bed and start tearing.
LOL.
IDK why tear.
Tired i guess.

Woke up at 6.30 today.
Thanks to Dad-.-
Say what want to go to this bridge at Alexandra/Telok Blangah.
The Henderson wave.
Walao then freakin early wake up leh.
Walk and Walk and Walk.
My mum LOVES to see plants =.=
So we were like stuck there till 11+
Its tiring really.

After that, apparently the kids haven't got their fair share of playing, we headed to West Coast Park.
I fit into NONE.
West Coast is tooo boring.
So is the HortPark at Henderson there.

I am like pretty tired.
But weather today is nice.
But still bloody humid.

So i just walk around follow my mum.
My mum will like.
'EH! You know arh last time i play with this, then she will demo what she can do to the leave/flower'
Dad walked around talking pictures.
I tried using, but seriously i am hooked to A's camera.
Its just too nice to use.

I walked around mum, occasionally nodding to mum.
Trying to make my self enthusiastic in the plants, butterflies.
To no avail of course.
Just wasn't in the mood to.

Finally home at around 3 plus.
Harry Potter-ed :D
Thats pretty much the best part of my day LOL.

--

Yesterday.
Had a pretty wild day around Queensway with the girls.
I realise, we are pretty much unwelcomed everywhere.
There is just this Security guard who is just v fcking aggravating.

I shall not emphasize.
But i hope he get sacks one day.

'Who gave you permission?'
Nope Nobody.
But nobody said we cannot take outside my 'dear'.
Cannot imagine if that ass was my 'dear' i would rather just die off.

Cabbed home.
Broke as always.
I had truckloads of fun taking pictures with A's cam.
Jump shots etc.
Hahas.

There is no school tomorrow.
Which is worth celebrating.
Ok the depressing feeling of crashing into bed and cry has faded away.

I guess i ll end here.

P.S
I realise i haven't posted about OBS!

school, obs.

2009-07-01T19:37:00.004+08:00

I havent got the feeling of uploading the OBS pictures yet.
I'll do it soon i guess.

The week is tiring.
Its really hectic IMO.
Its like rushing homework etc and all.

It feels like everything starting from scratch.
Had a few changes in teacher.
Ms Chan became our form teacher.
Thats the only one worth celebrating.
The rest i kind of want to bang my head.
My new Physics Teacher is a total weirdo.
You seriously will have NO idea what the heck is he trying to do or thinking.
He chased P out of the class for laughing and he is still laughing.
He made Jeron stand because he cheered welcoming him.
Pretty ridiculous?
Jeron cheered for him you know, and he need to stand up for that.
Joke?

My new Chemistry Teacher is a laughing stock i guess.
But he is the new discipline master ._.
Total disaster.
He teaches Maths.

I cannot get over why 3S1 got Mr Tan Boon Hui.
Which is like so damn lucky.
Now its either we are lucky or S3 is lucky.
Cause its either my chem teacher is major in chem or maths.
Which is a total joke.

Yea yea, Mr 1,2,3,4 HI 5!

My mum calls me a Complain Queen for whining and whining at her over and over again.

--

As time passes, its how amazing things change around us. People come and go. Leaving times of happiness and sadness. That is part of life i guess. People take chances by leaving one and seeking the other. If one is ever weak at saying goodbyes, be sure to be strong to say hellos. No hellos, no goodbyes. Its inevitable to lose someone important, right?

--

I don't trust you anymore.
It just ended and all i see is a total different story.
You are just a bloody fucking mangkok.

--

Oh and i cannot find my IC!

Take breath, make it deep.

2009-06-21T13:57:00.002+08:00

Hahas.
I can finally smile.

Why did we place ourselves through this kind of ordeal?
Take a breate, make it deep.
Say what you need.
Finally able to smile:D

Well.
I have to carry on with my packing.
Uncle's bag is damn big!
Abit erm..
BUT i cannot find my bag-.-
I have NO idea where it went.
But still, Big bag=GOOD.
I can stuff everything inside :D

Right.
Apparently Adina doesn't share the same amount of humour as me.
):

Bye ppl!
PACK PACK PACK :D

budget.

2009-06-20T21:28:00.002+08:00

My family left for Malaysia at 5 this morning.
I woke up then.
I am currently at GrandAunt's house :D
With Granduncle, uncle and aunt.
Hee.
I had a bloated dinner.
Good Food :D

I prefer to eat with my GranA cause its alot more budget.
I am currently on a very tired budget.
And GranA's house is the best place to stay and save money.
Here, i dont't have to worry about food.
:D

I ll go home tmr.
On aircon and sleep :D
Muahahaha.

Breakfast tomorrow is also settle
I am just very worried about homework ):
I HAVENT START YET.
OMFG.

I hope the holidays will be extended then i will have more time to do my work :D

Aunt and Uncle are all sick.
I hope i dont get the virus.
I've got OBS!
I haven't pack etc.

I am really going to go crazy.
I've got to meet Miser tomorrow.
IDK what to expect whatsoever.
I ain't going to think about it
Alright ending here.

Bye Love(s)
Ginkuan

The change.

2009-06-20T07:28:00.001+08:00

I witnessed the change.

You simply love your rackets.
I get it.

I ll survive :D

twilight. new moon.

2009-06-20T07:13:00.003+08:00

Well.
The Teaser Trailer for new moon came out LOL.
I had a pretty hard time looking for MTV awards 2009.
Then i found this pretty cool part.
Kristen Stewart dropped her award!
LOL!

Lets watch :D
Edit:
The video cannot run ):
Well i ll give you the link then!
There are many more other videos!

Whole MTV awards too :D
http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/395507/2009-mtv-movie-awards-kristen-stewart-wins-best-female-performance.jhtml#id=1611658

/Edit

end of AEM ):

2009-06-19T20:18:00.002+08:00

Well, today is Friday.
Thus marking the end of AEM.
I made a video out of what we did today.
Its pretty lame.
I just found the function on my mum's lap :D
So i thought i used it!

dream.

2009-06-18T21:01:00.002+08:00

I had a pretty ridiculous dream previous nights.
Before all the problems started.

Guess its a lighter note.

I actually dreamt of Miser.
Yes.
LOL.
I dreamt i was on the phone with Miser and Kukujiao( KKJ )
Then suddenly my dad.
Grab my phone.
Then "Hello!" to think of his expression makes me shudder.
Cause its pretty scary.
My dad's eyes are like buldging.
Then my dad " He is Miser right?!"( He said Miser's name in the dream LOL)
Then i was like erm.
Aiya "Ya larh ya larh" just admit LOL.

Then i was like 'But also have KKJ on the phone!'
Then KKJ was like ' What happen what happen?!'
Miser kop the phone.
LOL.

Then i think i woke up.

Yes its the lighter note.

'Heavier' note.
I have NO idea, why do you want to make it sound offensive and hurt me.
Idk if you misunderstood what i said.
I said i May be ready.
Not that i want.

Get over it and quit insulting me.
The moment i read what you typed, my blood boiled.
My anger peaked.
Its the worse ever insult and i NEVER expected it to come from YOU.

Its bad cause when i read that i was having lessons.
I was around the girls.
I cannot let that distract what i was doing.
Imagine handling chemicals then let this kind of things distract you!

Its aggravating.
Till this point of time.
If giving my ego up, would do us any good.
I think i will.

&
Dont ever give me this crap again.
Eg:
Ya ya, everything my fault.
My fault.
You forever right.
--
I think i will really slap you.
I dont care if you break my hand.

LOOK BIG AND WIDE.
I am giving my bloody pathetic ego up for you.
Dont lose it.

not ready.

2009-06-17T23:03:00.003+08:00

I may be ready to lose the superficial you.
But definitely NOT my safety harbour.

No, i ain't going to show the weak side of me.
It must just satiate your chauvinist thoughts.
I hope my bloody pathetic ego would not cause me to regret what ever is going to happen.
You need to at least tell me some thing.
Let me be prepared.

Determination.
Thats whats going to happen.

singapore poly.

2009-06-15T19:47:00.002+08:00

Just came back from SP round 7.
SP is BIG.
We need to seriously find our way.
V jialat lorh i think.

Labs and class rooms are air conditioned.
Food there is COOL :D
LOL. Subway is cheaper by 20%! Hee.
Super cool right.
But there really v hard to find your way around.

The classroom is filled with alot different smells LOL.
Some like damn smelly.
Some very nice.
But after smelling so much.
Your nose will very ... idk how to explain.
But will like v prickly.

LOL.
Go there train my nose :D

--

Its really irritating.
You owe me tons of explanation but you are giving me none.
You are leaving me like an idiot.

Don't leave it hanging there.
When something needs to be cleared.
It has to be explained.

I am starting to doubt myself.
If it just stop here, I would lose more than just a soulmate.
My safety harbour.
Now i am doubting that my decision at first was right.
Its pretty annoying for me to keep doubting myself.

Prove me wrong before i cannot take it anymore.

--

Its nice to just talk.
Feels super cool.
Wish i did not have to alight LOL.
But i overstayed leh.
Deduct 2 bucks ):

&&
Mum is stucked with Pets Society.
LOL.
Facebook is just like a drug.
1st let my Dad addict to Real Estate Tycoon.
Next Mum addict to Pets' Society.
Wapiang.
LOL.

I came home then i see Mum playing LOL!

More lesson at SP tomorrow.
We are going to get to study Chanel 5 tomorrow.
I think Aizhen is going to go crazy tomorrow.
Hahas.

Alright i'll end here.

With Love
Ginkuan

need.

2009-06-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

I desperately need some one to talk to.
I need to talk to Dum.

Just nice she sleeping.
I feel like waking her up.
Nothing beats talking to her now.
Dum is NOT always there for me.
But when she is there, everything is fine.
I just plainly miss my dum.

Its been pretty long since i last saw her.
Stupid girl.
I am going to spam her phone tomorrow morning.
I need to talk to her.
Before i lose my sanity.

i gave you, you screwed it.

2009-06-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

I can see from your reaction, you think that its purely my problem.

Fine if you want to think that way.
I told you.
Or more likely i hinted you.
This is going to be some thing close to a one way thing.
Until i was able to trust you again.

Things you do aren't making me trust you.
You don't seem to know when is the correct timing.
To me, looking for Shimona means nothing.
But you have to strike a balance.
You aren't.
Have you ever thought, when people ask me where are you.
I tell them Shimona.
People will start to wonder why, no matter how much i don't want to let others' words to get into my head.
Do you think its possible?
With you constantly leaving.

Worse today.
You bloody just walked in.
Without telling me anything.
What does that feel?
And you did that TWICE today.

I felt cheated.
With you just walking away like that.
You tell me you cannot locate us.
Than why did you not even tell me where you are going.
Maybe if you say i would feel better.
You don't have to report.
At least a need to know limit?

With Shimona within a 5 KM radius, things changed alot.
Things like how you react.
I still hate that part.
YOU BLOODY JUST WALKED AWAY.
Worse, when i texted you.
You bloody think you are still in the right.
When i said some stuffs.
You still thought i was kidding.
I wasn't kidding when i said i have my limit.

Do you know how annoying it is to want to talk to you.
But having anger holding me back.
My bloody pathetic ego.

You think you are right.
I ain't going to give in this time.
You think i don't cherish.

This time, i gave you your chance.
You screwed it single handedly.
Its not my fault.
I gave what i should.

You lost my trust before.
Its ain't coming back that easily anymore.
If things carry on like that.

It would just be a matter of time before things hits my limit.

You bloody don't even apologise.
Oh yea right.
Male Chauvunist.

Go on.
I am just sick and tired.

I am just pretty happy tomorrow is the last day of Aviva.
I wasn't able to enjoy Aviva this couple of days.
I was only able to enjoy the first day.

Aviva takes up
Money.
Time.
And due to some.
My mood was entirely hopeless.

Some maybe even thinking i am ridiculously UNREASONABLE.
But seriously,WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY.
When people asked me, ' Whats happening?'

What do you bloody expect from me.
This is extremely aggravating.

Tired.
Thats the word.
Pressure.
Thats the word.
Aggravated.
Thats the word.

Sick and tired.

10th anniversary.

2009-06-05T12:53:00.002+08:00

School's 10th anniversary later on.
Quite late.

I havent start on the holiday homework.
Dont seem to have the mood to.
Going to attend all the training next week.
Life at home is just way too boring.

--

I can no longer be bothered about Miser.
Since he seemed that he can't be bothered as well.
You love one liner answers don't you.

--

I ll find something to do.

go away.

2009-06-03T22:02:00.002+08:00

I totally hate the way you put things.
'Anyway, just now, you are talking to my dad. Maybe you can be more polite'

That totally pissed me off.
Its not my falut that your dad just catch the unglam side of what i said.
Or maybe its the part where i was joking about girls playing Combat Arms.

If you even think that i am out to offend your dad then you aint worth it.
You should know me enough to know what i meant.
Can't you hear my joking tone?

It totally pisses me off.
If you think thats impolite.
Try me.
I ll show you whats real impolite.

You aren't trying to solve problems
You just let them go.
You just avoid them.
Thats not how its suppose to be.

And if you think messing your hair is trying to make you look ugly.
Then you are bloody wrong.
I don't do that just to anybody.

Its how ass its feels to actually complain here.
Saying it right into your face is going to hurt.
Its agonizing really.

I am trying.
I can see you too.

There are lots of things that had gone wrong.
Its really extreme.
I am either damn happy.
Or damn pissed with you.

But what if we just werent meant to be?
Thanks for helping with my essay.
I appreciate it reallly.

M.I.4

2009-06-01T21:41:00.003+08:00

Its not suppose to hurt anymore.
Cause I am already too numb to by the pain to feel anymore.
Thats my limit.
There is absolutely no way I can control my feelings.
Even if i know i should not.
But everytime i see words/things regarding it, I would just flinch.
Or anything under the Sun that would remind me of it.
I would just flinch.
Its no use knowing i should not.

I wished i could just control.
Practise makes perfect.
Maybe till some day, i would no longer be affected.
Not even the slightest of recoil.

Thats the day i hate you.
When i no longer feel the pain.
The day i can finally let go of you.
Free myself of you.
I no longer want to have anything to do with you.
Buts thats going to take a long ordeal.
Thinking what past.
Its tough eh?

Nothing is impossible.
M.I.4

My very own mission impossible

pressure&breatheless

2009-05-29T22:13:00.005+08:00

Caught Angels And Demons.
Thats one of the worse movies i caught.
The scenes inside is totally disgusting.

I should have just read the book.
The movie made my view on the book changed.

Ok i'll off the com now.
Dad is ^&*(_

Edit:
Yea so the movie was totally $%^&*
Horrible.

Caught the movie at Causeway point.
The Nachos there are so-so.
Maybe just because i wasn't hungry enough for Nachos.

Reach homed at 7.

Classbonding was horrible due the inactiveness of 3S2.

--

Its not nice anymore.
I don't know if its something that can be solved.
I am the one that felt pressurized.
BUT i don't even know why did i even feel pressurized.
Things that you say adds on to it bit by bit.
You said its time to solve it.
Lets hope its true and it works.
Feeling pressurized just isn't the way it should be.

I feel breathless.

/Edit

tired.

2009-05-26T22:22:00.002+08:00

Have been pretty worn out this few days.

Training today.
Wow i think i did not warm my muscles up properly.
My left Calf was like aching!
Like whole thing v tensed, now i walk also got problem.

Yesterday,
SCHOOL IS DAMN FUCKING WARM.
I was starting to sweat since 1st period.
Totally V sticky.
I keep performing my sticking ruler stunt.
To prove HOW sticky i am LOL!
V irritated by the stickiness.

Then went for choir.
They went' go into SYF formation'
Then i felt sort of humiliated.
I don't always feel this way, this time i felt its enough so i left the practise for 10th anniversary.
They asked those not in SYF to stand at the back first.

I was pissed cause.
Haven't I had enough of the back?
Not being able to sing with everybody?

They said they will slot us in later.
You mean like what, you have to find exceptions and place us in?
That DOES not sound right.
You may not have those intentions but when people listen to it they will understand it wrongly.
说者无意，听者有意
V simple logic.
Thats why i left it.
Doubt i would be turning up for tomorrow.
If i aint turning up, i ll go and find out for class bonding stuffs.

Mdm Tay placed me as I/C
Pretty troublesome.
Alot of things to settle.
Still need to prepare things to play etc.

Alright i guess its time to off the com.
Dad is $%^&*( at me.

Bye love(s)
Ginkuan

guilty feeling have got no reason.

2009-05-24T12:30:00.002+08:00

V annoyed by my mum now.
The moment she come back she starts to nag and nag -.-
Totally put off.
I am going to do my SS then i bring a cup of water in then she start crapping.
Dad won't allow me to go out.
Be it Badminton or Movie.

I am stucked here.
The moment my parents are back they just disturb everything.
Not that i do not want them to be back.
Just don't keep nagging.

I wish they just faster go Malaysia for holiday.
Then i have the whole house to myself.
Nobody disturbing me.
Well maybe just stupid Miser.

V annoyed.
Now is Dad's turn.
I was playing Combat Arms with Miser earlier on.
Then he came back nag nag, i went to do homework.
So he went ' Ask you do things you do homework, then just now play. No meaning right?'
I just kept quiet.
Ok mum is screaming again -.-
WTF is wrong with the two of them.

During Combat Arms,
Miser keep shooting me down -.-
I died at least a nice 6 times due to Miser.
I ll slap Miser the next time i see Miser.

Time to continue SS.
Bye love (s)
Ginkuan

new game.

2009-05-23T13:21:00.002+08:00

New game :D
I love my miser.
Stupid Miser.
Niao like cat like that.

untitled.

2009-05-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

Today was alright i guess.

School was slack once again-.-
The only lessons we had today was Maths and Chinese, the rest were absent or cancelled LOL.

Collected the Class Tee during recess, mine, felicia,zhiyong and ChrisT's class tee was printed wrongly.
Hence we got to wait for the noon.
The uncle came in the noon and we got our shirts.
Paid. Then realise i am damn broke XD

Meeting was alright.
Sports Carnival next thurs.
Most prob another Meeting next wednesday.

I seriously feel that the councillors are not respecting themselves.
Sorry to say this.
But many are pretty sloppy.
You don't take pride in what you do then don't expect people to respect you.
Ms Chen says that they are trying to get some stand for us in the school.
Get a CCA councillors room.

Well.
Yesterday was kinda cool.
Had movie with the girls.
Night at the museum was cool.
But i wasn't able to concentrate.
LOL.

After the movie walked around for the girls than left.
Hahas.
After i left i saw a beautiful red volleyball.
I guessed A would like it (:

Left around 7, home at 8.
It was a good time.
You know what i meant.
Now i know.
But i think i almost get a fever.
My body was like fever on the way home.
Your fault larh.

Pretty tired, and feeling sick.
Thought was going to skip today's school.
But i did not!
I am too much of a good girl to skip school :D

Alright!
Bye love(s)
Ginkuan

home based learning.

2009-05-21T13:36:00.002+08:00

Home Base Learning(HBL) sucks.
I mean like seriously, at first thought will be quite cool.

Slowly do then wth, struggle.
Esp Physics.
I have no bloody idea what on earth the PPT is talking about -.-
'School' is almost ending already.
I don't care actually.i finished my work pretty long ago.

Alright, 'School' aside.
Meeting the girls later on (:
I still want to watch angels and demons larh!
But we are watching Night at the museum.

Extremely sleepy now, kind of nauseous too.
I have no idea.
Maybe it is because of me turning in late last night.
I slept at 2am!
):
Thanks to Namza.
But it was really funny.

Alright.
I'll go change now.
I hope its gna be fun later.
And that Auntie is not going ):

With Love
Ginkuan

broke.

2009-05-20T19:17:00.002+08:00

Oh my god, terrible.
I am like broke already.
I haven't been managing my money well recently.

Quite dissappointed though, i am going to plan my holidays properly so that i will have time to earn my money :D
Going out with the girls tomorrow.
We are going to promise ourselves, to only spend 15bucks tomorrow.
Since we are all BROKE.
Seriously, we are like people who been through bankruptcy.
Really tight pockey now.

The end of school today was damn slack.
We had an hour of free time.
Lessons in the morning were boring.
AND MY EYEBAGS ARE OUT.
DAMN.
I was like telling Dum, ' SEE, my eyebags come out liao ):'
But its really slight.
But still don't like it, i normally don't have.

Class Tee is kind of a headache.
Dad said that sending to school was better.
So i decided to follow Dad cause i think its more logical.
Why did i not think of that?

And Mum just screamed at me for my bill.
LOL.
She went 'You arh! Bao again i will cancel your line. HUH, 500 sms still not enough arh ?!'
Then i say'Not 500 is 1000'
Then my mum screamed even louder, making me feel stupid.
'1000 ALSO NOT ENOUGH? NEXT MONTH IF YOU EXCEED I WILL CANCEL YOUR LINE!'
Then i told Dad' if i know i don't say liao, scream even louder. if i know i say 100 only'
Then my Dad 'Ya' me. Then we high fived. LOL!
We keep high five during dinner LOL.
So funny.

I want unlimited sms larh!
Hee. I am going to be a good girl for the next month and let Dad be happy :D

Mum is scolding Sis because of her results.

I haven't told them my results yet.
I'll say my results on friday.
Oh my buddha, Sis says she cannot take Higher Chinese anymore.
Oh my god, terrible!

Geez, i feel for her now.
Well Higher Chinese is tough you know!

Arh whatever larh, there is nothing i can do for her.
Cheer up Sis!
I'll buy Kinder Joy for you! :D

--

Though i do not want to break the status quo now.
But i have to admit how i feel.
Its so nice that i don't want to change it, for the bad.
If i change the status quo now, it will change for the worse one day and i don't know if its worth it.
For i am afraid.
I do not want to take the risk.
You'll understand would you?
I can't make up my mind, change it or don't change it.
Tell me would you?

--

With Love
Ginkuan

mono.

2009-05-19T18:47:00.005+08:00

Things are really mono,flat now?
Idk how to explain, but time after school with the girls is always filled with laughter.
We play the craziest of games together.
Improve the game we played, etc.

Aizhen is coming back tomorrow.
You better get my souvenir or i will get angry at you.
Ha.
Results are pretty suck i guess.
But really proud of my sciences.
Especially Physics, i bet i mentioned this in the previous post.

English-55
HCL-62
EMaths-66
AMaths-59
Physics-71
Chemistry- 78.5
Social Studies-
History-

Social studies we only got half of our results but things arent really looking good.
History idk.I just hope i get at least and A2.
I am such a failure for this MYE.
IF my History gets an A2, i get a L1R5 of 14!
Oh my god, terrible ( inside joke )

Time for English and Maths tuition.
I cannot let all this subs eat into me.
I need to lower my marks by 4 marks.
Geez.

Alright.
Frankly speaking i am still very tired.
I don't know why!

I feel like a pig.

--

I like the times i spent with you.
Doing the craziest of things.
Running up MRT stairs when everyone is staring.
My gosh.
Thats a ONCE in a lifetime experience.
Only after completing the running then i realise how embarrassed i was.

At least its an experience only with you and no one else.
I am glad i had it.

--

With Love
Ginkuan

Results.

2009-05-17T09:49:00.002+08:00

Its an early Sunday morning.
So lazy.
Went jogging again :D

Ran more today.
Must shake all the Sakae out of my system.

More results are coming out tomorrow and i am getting pretty jumpy about it.
My most worried subjects are Physics, Amaths, Social Studies and History.
I wna Ace my Chem, Hist, E maths and Chinese( impossible )
):

Really tired nowadays, Post-Exams-Fatigue is not over yet.
Damn.

CCAs are going to start all over again.
I am going to be busy.
Monday-Choir
Tuesday-Badminton
Wednesday-Choir.

If i still don't go badminton Elycia is going to kill me LOL.

--

I want to watch Angels And Demons.
I read the book.
Its v cool :D
I asked Mr R already he said see first.
You don't watch better tell me earlier i can ask others.
Dum maybe, or the girls.

Wooo.
Holidays are coming.
Its still going to be hectic.
First Week: Structured Remedials.
Second Week: Unconfirmed.
Third Week: AEM
Fourth Week: OBS.

So most probably i only have second week to rest.
):
There must be quite a number of holiday homework.
Damn.

I am stinking up my room now.
So smelly hee.
Time to go.

Bye love(s)
Ginkuan

midterms are over (:

2009-05-16T11:29:00.002+08:00

Finally, all the exams struggle are over :D
Such a relieve.
I don't have to wake up at 3am everyday to study for papers.

Have not recovered from the Exam fatigue yesterday.
Today was better :D
Auntie is coming back today :D
That means.
NO more house chores.
NO more missing outings with the girls.
NO more unmade beds.

Woo.
Super happy.
Three weeks came and past.
And term 2 is almost over already.
Before long.
Its term 4.
Dum and Yum would be graduating already.
Then its going to be my turn for O's next year.

This sucks ):

Went to Sakae with the girls yesterday.
Mag came too.
Wow we ate alot i think.
Mag still wasn't full.
Scary Mag.

I got a stomachace after the buffet.
Wasn't v pleasant.
OH.
And i god damn put on weight.
Roar.
Time to start eating lesser.
I feel like starting apple diet again :D
Muahaha.

Oh and my mum is getting on my nerves.
She keeps screaming at house to do housework.
Oh please leh.
You got to know we don't do housework much in the past.
You suddenly throw everything to us.
Whats your problem.
Say we lazy.
Whats your problem say we've got to do everything.
We've got our own things to do for god's sake.
You said you got homework.
What about Dad?
We don't have homework?
Plus its our exam period.
Get that fucking idea into your brain.
Now that my papers are over.
You expect me to 24/7 do housework?
Over my dead body.

Mum,
Stop being annoying.
Its getting onto the nerves.

Oh she just shouted ' When Auntie comes back i am going to change alot of things'
I think that pretty much meant we are going to do housework.
But i don't care.

Remember?
Rebel Leader.

And oh i ve got my Physics back.
I was Elated :D
I failed my Physics during CT.
I got an A2!
:D

But v saddened by Chinese .
I barely passed.
Damn.
I need to improve on my languages.

I failed my functional writing too.
But its kinda expected cause why?
Ms WONG marked our paper.
LOL.

Alright.
I guess i am going to end my post here.

Lastly.
Happy Birthday Shinan.
&
Have a good trip Aizhen.

With Love
Ginkuan

Tiring.

2009-05-12T15:49:00.002+08:00

Its really tiring really.
I have been waking up 3 am recently.
To study.
Goodness sake.
Its darn tiring.
I get tired as early as 9.

History History.
I think i'll go bathe now.
Then decide if i wna sleep.
Then study at night.
Damn irregular Sleeping is bad for my body.

Bye Love(s)

Complications.

2009-05-12T15:31:00.002+08:00

There are just too many things that come together and complicate things up.
Why do you want to complicate things up when it was so simple?
Its what you think in your heart, your mind and your soul.
If you want it to be that way let it be.
If you don't even want to try from my propective then don't even start.
If i have to keep trying.
If i have to keep seeing things i don't want to see.

I don't want to put anymore effort in this anymore.

Maybe if you haven't noticed.
I don't really care anymore.
I don't feel the pain actually.
I see it, accept it.
And not care a hoot about it.

Its not worth it.
Its not worth to feel the pain anymore.
Its not worth to struggle.

I don't even want to try anymore.
For i know.
You will not try.
You will not break your status quo.

I'll survive.

Its nothing great.
Accept it this way, I'll look for you when i need and cast you away when i don't.
Thats what you want too right?

Thats the best for me.
Cause the effect of this whole thing is minimal and to your advantage.
Happy Go Lucky.
Its my turn to be Happy Go Lucky.

I will do what i need.
I will say what i need.
I will listen to what i need.

The rest i don't bother, really.

And,
you don't have to be that obvious.
I know you are rejoicing.
But i don't really care (:

--

Its history paper tomorrow.
Its going to be a tough struggle tonight.
I will end here.

Bye my love(s)
Ginkuan.

Mid Terms.

2009-05-11T20:05:00.002+08:00

damn mid terms):

i wasted my weekend away.
Well in the sense that i did not study but.

i watched Boys Over Flowers!

They are OMFG hot! :D

I ll Places there pictures after this.

Now i have their pic in my phone,desktop wallpaper!

Now i just have to get a korean person to import their OST CD over :D

A lil over?

Its ok i am used to getting overseas people :D

Alright!

Brace your self for hot guys :D

I need to take charge of my life,my feelings.

2009-05-03T17:59:00.002+08:00

Back from the fishing trip in malaysia.
But i missed the study date with the girls.
The fishing trip was soothing, really.
At least i didn't have to think of things.
I just had to relaxed.
Now that i am back, its time to take charge of my life again.
I have been letting my emotions run wild this few days.
My wild emotions seemed to annoy Mr R.
Sorry.
Mr R was like. Can you calm yourself down? You don't have to get overworked over trival matters.
Indeed.
I had a bad time trying to supress all those awful feelings.

Fishing was great.
Its cool you know.
The moment i got to the Kelong.
I was Horror-strucked.
I could not believe my eyes.

I told my mum.
' Its going to be a ONCE in a lifetime experience, i am never coming back here, i feel like i am abducted. I should have went studying with the girls.'

Mum was like,'Don't comment like that.'

Seriously i felt i was like abducted from Singapore to this hella place.
But slowly, everything seemed alright.
I had my first fish just two minuted after i let the hook down.
The fishes there are all v small.

Catching the first fish in minutes makes me enthusiastic you know.
I started fishing.
Until my third fish which was less than half an hour.
After that no more.
I got bored.

Wondered around the Kelong.
Then we played MAHJONG.
Woo, my dad actually allowed me to play.
I played with my mum :D
Mum, cousin and neighbour.

We are all rookies. Next to us was the Table of Pros.
My dad, Uncle Ng, Uncle Richard, Uncle Eric.

We played slowly.
Time just passes extremely slowly on the sea.
I was better than the rest of them in the Rookie Table.
I won a few times.
That made mum throw a tile at me.
Hee.

Went to Sibu Island next.
The sea is beautiful.
Its so clear you can see the fishes and jelly fishes very clearly.
We could even see stingray at the sea bed near the shore.

We played with the waves.
Just let the waves flushed us.
We screamed when there is a big wave coming in.
Its super cool.
Then the sand gets eroded.
It felt as if the sea is drawing you towards it.
I felt giddy instaneously.

Drank coconut, went back to the Kelong.
Everyone rushed to bathe.
I took my own sweet time.
Went fishing again(:
Till it was my turn to bathe.
Then it was Mahjong time again.
Its just very nice and relaxing.

Wanted to fish overnight.
Or mahjong overnight.
But i think everyone was just deadbeat.
Plus there wasn't much fish that night so we decided to go to bed.
Its cold at sea at night.
Really nice to sleep.

Morning.
Breakfast, fished, lunched, mahjong-ed, packed.
SHOPPING.

Nothing much really.
Wanted to buy running shoes.
Didn't manage.
1st,
Shoes there were nowhere cheaper.
2nd,
The designs were all fugly.

We just walked around.
Went to Harris.
Bought some stationeries etc.
Bought a new book.
Morning,Noon,Midnight by Sidney Sheldon.
Wanted to buy another book named Watermelon but did not in the end.

Went back to the car.
Then Dad drove us back to Singapore (:

Then thats how i end up home (:

Its nice really.
Really soothing.
Really relaxing.

--

Now that i am back,
I've got to face it.
See what had passed me.
See what had happened.
What was done.
What was needed to be done.
What i need to do to repair myself.
What i need to do to get what i want
What i need to do to get what i deserved.
What i need to do to get what you don't deserve away from you.
What i need to do to get you feel the pain that you had inflicted on me.
What i need to do to get a hold of myself, my emotions.

When i was in Kelong, i was escaping from reality.
The short interval that i can use to forget the matter temporarily.
But its wasn't permanent.
What is done is done.
But it can be undone.
Undone by me.
I will do WHATEVER i can to undo it.

Thats a promise to myself.

--

Pictures of Kelong upnext.

ohmybuddha.

2009-04-30T23:48:00.002+08:00

I don't know if you are purposely doing it infront of me.
Just to hurt me.
I don't know if you are doing it out of goodwill for another.
But it sure is not to a good will of me.

I don't care what you are planning next.
But you sure did came in at the wrong time.
It makes me feel you screw everything up.
No. I don't feel it.
It IS that way.

It was deliberately and obviously.

OhMyBuddha.
Quit screwing my life.

I cannot bring myself to listen to Mr R's advice.
For its painful.

Hypnotic
Yucky
Pissed
Over headed
Cursed
Ram
Idiot
That
Exists

wow i can take literature

untitled.

2009-04-30T22:39:00.002+08:00

Alot of things are happening nowadays.
And things are constantly changing.
Its just like grasping sand.
You may succeed in getting a whole bunch or nothing at all.

Sand.
So, what i have been struggling to grasp was just sand.

--

Leaving for malaysia tmr.

Cut the crap.

2009-04-30T18:47:00.003+08:00

Stop the crap.
Cut the crap.
Stop making it so obvious will you?
Even a blind man could see that.

Mr R said i am an Idiot not listening to him.
Mr R, how can i listen to you when facts are layed out right infront of my eyes.

The first thing i feel in the morning is awfulness.
Looking at the fact makes me gasp for air.

It feels as if i am going to break into pieces.

Mum says its all nonsense.
Nature would takes its course.
If it aint yours, it never will be.
I am good at that.

I ve to rearrange my priorities.

Mr R the academic duel is on (:

I long should have heed your advice.
Never should have held on.
Nonetheless, i have got to fight for what i think its true.
What i think i want.
You aint an item.
For that i understand and respect.

Tsunami.

2009-04-29T20:27:00.002+08:00

Was on the phone with Roshawn earlier on.
The conversation was funny.
He was good at distracting me.
Thanks bud ( smacks his back )

" If you know there is a tsunami coming, run first, don't wait for it to hit you.
Take a train, a bus, a plane, a bike, a car, a jet or just run. Don't let it hurt you."
Quote from Mr Roshawn.

I found a way to stop getting my self hurt.
At least it was nice to talk with him.
We ended up challenging each other with academics.
He this sour grapes forever like that der.

Ok fine.
I shall stop here.
I ll go practise my chinese.

With Love.
Ginkuan

pictures (:

2009-04-28T17:53:00.005+08:00

its been long since there was pictures here.
so here are some pictures.

the Girls :D

This is the super cool uncle that gave us lots of discounts.
We were like pestering him for discounts :D

SEE uncle i did help you advertise :D
As promised(:

SYF

2009-04-24T22:17:00.001+08:00

I was at Youtube and i thought i searched for the Vids of SYF this year.
I managed to find the on announcing the results.

Fhss is at 1.05.
Choir got a gold.
Hahas.
Let me see if there is others.

unpleasant.

2009-04-23T19:05:00.002+08:00

From today onwards, i will try to blog with words fully typed out in proper english.
School today was totally UNPLEASANT.
It totally sucked.
Aizhen got caught for smuggling drinks.
Then i tried to say like she did not buy but somehow Mr Teo Eggman saw then crap started.
He called me a Rebel Leader.

If thats what you like.
I was still joking about the name with Simin and Aizhen.
'Yeah man, i am the head of Tamil Tigers' ( ok this has no OFFICIAL meaning, i know how things have been really sensitive about LTTE recently, it just happens we are on this topid (: )
Egg Man Teo Sucks.
Seriously.
Well i realise, i always guai lan them.
Well i dont know how to say guai lan in English XD

Lessons were sleepy.
I always end up sleepy in lessons.

School and Lessons were no longer enjoyable.
My class has alot of smart people ( i dont mean anything offensive)
My class just have alot of smart and clever people.
If you would just slack abit, people will catch up.
Thats HOW compeitive i feel it is.
Last year,
Yes my class is smart too.
But we dont like Really Push ourselves.
Most of us really started Mugging when its like the CT 2 and EYE.

You just plainly dont have the motivation.
Its like the same thing over and over again.
And everything gets doubly confusing.
Teachers were not as useful anymore. ( not saying that my teachers sucked)

Seriously its just PLAIN tiring.
Things are so god damn different.

--

Things were no longer that simple.
I can feel that is something wrong.
But i cannot find the problem of it.
Its something really wrong.
But,
if i really know whats the problem, will i have the courage to say to you.
I tried it once to the person but i lost that person.
It scares me now.
Its how amazing my mood can be swayed by small little things.

I feel weak.

--

Thanks for being there Dum.
At least i had you.
Not trying to be corny.
I wouldnt be me if it aint for you.
I have to give you my deepest gratitude.
For being the one there.
Being the one listening, being the only shoulder there.
It was never easy to find a shoulder like dum.

I use to tell Dum.
'Dum you are one in a millionth you know?'
Then she would.
'Wow, thats cool'
Cute eh?

Dum and Roshawn is almost similar.
Just That Stupid Roshawn Just Cant Be Bothered At Times.
i hope you read this you stupid man.
and you are always super slow.
But disturbing you is always nice.
At least you wont be angry at me.
Its not as if Dum would but she will.
'Eh i studying dont disturb, talk tomorrow'

Oh Dum & Roshawn is similar that,
You cannot use words like indirectly.
They just SIMPLY cannot find the link.
EQUALLY SLOW LOL

Hmmm.
Sounds like SS?
RT you better read, bug me about SS somemore i ll chop you.

--

i ll end here.
Feels so much better ranting about school.
Feels some much about appreciating others.

ginkuan.

teachers.

2009-04-22T16:55:00.002+08:00

omg larh i kinda dread sch nowadays.

i rmb last year actually looked forward leh.
with all the high times in sch.
this year.
class is like half dead-.-
super tired during lessons.
was struggling through SS and Physics.
My eyelids were HEAVY.

Maths Test sucked.
alright i realise.
today just sucked.

last question i had totally no idea how to solve.
feel v depressed.
PE was so-so.
ran around the sch for two rounds.
prec and i caught some dizzy spells.
i got over it fast.

lunch at macs aftersch.

and after that was chinese oral.
chinese oral sucked larh seriously.

Ms Yoong:
If you had a chance to take a Third Language what would it be?

Me:
An European language.

then i thought shit man i should say korean.

Ms Yoong:
Which EUROPEAN LANGUAGE?

Me:
French?

Ms Yoong:
Why?

Me:
then i would have a better opportunity to develope in France.

--

it totally sucked.
this oral is gna be worse then my english.

i dun feel like using com any more.
i ll go watch twilight.

bye world.

Days.

2009-04-21T18:42:00.002+08:00

woo.
days are passing by one by one.
one deadline after another.
tmr is Chinese Oral.
i bet my lunch money all are trying find things to say now.

ytd was funny after school with the choir ppl.
quite a whole bunch of ppl.
hahas.
lets see.

shermaine.jasmine.peiying.tongmui.shirui.wendy.precelia.sawyi.jerlin.laisi.a guy.
me! (:

i hope i din forget any :D
hahas.
it was crazy i tell you.
we were like extremely noisy all around XD.

shermaine bought us Famous Amos and coke!
super cool right out zhuxi :D

walked around.
bought TWILIGHT DVD.
super duper happy i tell you :D hee
but i am broke already ):

morning-
lessons.
we skipped History lesson.
since ms cheong wasnt here.
went to take IC photo.
extremely toootttt.
i gta like clip my ENTIRE fringe up ):
or else it just would not pass.

we went back reached class room round 2.45.
then Loh Ai was there.
why so late?
i am going to report to Mr Phor.

we thought it was real.
then the next thing he said was.
Next time dont do it.
hahas.

right alright.

pretty much ytd.
today was nothing exciting.
many ppl were not here for lessons.
mega bee had to report to sch only at 10.30!
extreme unfairness.

sat under the fan whole day.
super shuang leh.
maisiaosiao.

i want to sit under the fan leh.
who cares if i sit alone.
as long as i am under the fan :D

got pretty pissed at Z during Maths.
aint gna put Zx cos it looks like zhixian. and also ltr someone come
EH MY NAME NO SPACING LARH.
i felt so... angry? quite close i think. i only know i was choked up when talking to prec.
darn.
really pissed.
i mean like i really dont understand wtf you want.
you know you stfu larh.

ms tan also abit.
' this is not simultaneous equalities!'
wtf.
I DONT KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE LEH.
instead of telling me this is no what this is not what.
tell me when do what when do what larh.

wtf -.-
for the 1st time i got pretty pissed with ms tan.
i was like pretty f up already.
then come Z.
tmd.
seriously seriously.
i am gna ignore Z.
irritated,pissed,angry,agitated.
anything you name it.

ok whatever.
i am gna mug for tmr's oral.
but i feel like watching TV.
damnnn.

bye.

Mum and Dad.

2009-04-13T20:17:00.003+08:00

Right.
Dad is still obsess.
Mum thought he was reading his online news and doings his work.
Then Mum waited.
Till Dad said.
EH this one the price went up!
Mum was like -.-
I THOUGHT YOU WAS DOING YOUR WORK.
WAPIANG HAI ME KOK KOK WAIT.

Dad-
ok ok, give me TWO minutes arh. i sell liao give you back.
Mum-
SELL LIAO LARH ltr lose money.

the next thing you hear is.
Dad-
WALAO you nvr brush teeth so suay say drop then drop.
wa piang.

LOL.
seriously.

I don't like.

2009-04-13T20:07:00.002+08:00

i dont like it.
i dont like the way its brought to me.
i dont like how it feels.
i dont like how much the tone can hurt me.
i dont like how easy your words and actions can hurt me.
i dont like how you speak to me.

it sounded as if you dont care.
i dont like the 'i dont care a hoot' idea you are giving me.
you may not know.
how much its hurting me.
simple lil things like an sms without a smiley could hurt me as much.
an sms with dead tone.

all sort of things.
its like you don't bother.
you don't bother if its hurting me.
you don't speak like this to others.
you don't give the same reply to others.
you don't stop smiling the moment you see others.

you make me think again.
was all the struggle worthwhile.

who knows.
the struggle is still on going.

key it in.
i get hurt so badly by those small things.
and worse.
i don't rmb hurting you like that.
cos i don't hurt ppl that i treasure.

right.
you don't care.

why did i make myself go through such tormentation

Sunday.

2009-04-12T19:56:00.003+08:00

LOL.
today was kinda erm well Eventful in a sense.
my dad got addicted to a game on Facebook named Real Estate Tycoon.

alright my day started off when i shouted bye to auntie and sidney.
aunite decided to bring sidney out.

woke up.
dragged myself to wash up and ready for breakfast.
breakfast in the morning.
just the four of us.
i often think.
what if sidney wasnt born.
how would our life turn out without auntie fixing our house?
hee.

went to the Wet Market after that.
it rained.
darn LOL.

i carried the largest bag of groceries for the day hee :D
went back to the car.
saw jiarong on the way.
waved hi and left (:

homed.
unpack the groceries.
then Dad started his Real Estate Tycoon.
it all started when Calie saw me playing.
and she was like WOW.
then she went to create a face book.
LOL.

Then DAD ended up playing too
he is like her Financial Consultant.
the two of them are hilarious.
you can hear them shouting
EHHHHH why you buy this one so exp??
then calie will.
exp meh?very low leh.
then dad will.
WAPIANG YOU CANNT READ GRAPH ARH.
then mum and i will laugh at each other.

then b4 dinner.
mum was looking for a breather.
she was doing all her homework and stuff.
so she also started PLAYING.
cos calie wants mum to be her Poorest Friend.

then mum was playing and said.
wapiang so easy to earn one arh.
LOL.

the all three coms in my house was on Facebook.
LMAO.

alot of funny things happened to our family thanks to that one leh.
Dad can eat dinner till half.
go and see his com and EH I SELL thisthishthis ESTATE for $$$$$$ dollars leh!
then he will come back and smile at the rice.
LOL.

mum looked at me and say.
SEE your fault now daddy crazy about the game.

seriously.
My dad is so LOL.
oh maisiaosiao.
my dad now got 80mil plus liao le.

PLUS.
he cooked Dinner tonight.
not bad leh.
My dad can cook well.
just that he seldom cook (:

LOL.
so thats pretty much my day.

--

sian tmr got ORAL.
damn.
i told mum then she was like.
aiya.
you YA JIAN ZUI LI.
oral is nothing man.

hahas.
thanks mum .
ha.

alright then.
i am gna watch Campus in anth 15 mins.
hee :D

Broke.

2009-04-11T17:49:00.005+08:00

Shopping ytd.
Bugis to Vivo.

nvr really liked Bugis.
things there dont really fit me.
i prefer to go Far East.
but nope.

TOO lazy for shopping.
only shop when the need arises :D

HOWEVER.
ytd.
the more you shop, the more you wna spend.
omg larh.
its kinda crazy in the sense that.
you know that it may not fit but it looks nice and tempting so there you go :D

Vivo after Bugis.
went to NewUrbanMale to get my flipflops :D
hee.

Bugis's shop doesnt have much to choose from i guess.

Something super paiseh happened which made my face blush like $%^&*(
seriously.
then faster ZAO.

walked around Vivo.
got home at 7.

Friday-
after went to meet Dum to collect her specs.
she was hungry so we went to KFC.
then after that we realise.
we both are broke.
so we both POURED whatever money we have.
Coins, notes. EVERYTHING.
we had 6.45 :D
so we bought a meal that could use Popular card for a discount for a buck :D
both of us were enthralled :D

we went there.
ordered.
ask to upsize the drink.
then we saw- 6.90.
then we started panicking then asked what happened.
then the auntie say.'haven deduct larh'

warh then we felt relieved.
seriously despo.
hee

sat down.
looked at the menu again.
dum was thinking what else could we have bought.
then she realise with just anth 15cents we could buy something better.
so i said,
' this are times when you know how much as lil as 10-20 cents matters alot'
we both laughed :D
after that we split the remaning money.
we had 55 cents.
i took 35 cents :D hee.
she gave it to me.

Eat,Homework there.
packed for home at 5.45.
dum wanted to photocopy the maths worksheet.
so i asked got money meh?
then she say 10 cents only marh.
then she said' I GOT 20 CENTS LEH!'
maisiaosiao.
hahas.

that was hilarious.
but i still paid for the photocopied one afterall cos i had 35CENTS.
hahas.

LOL.
To add on.
DUM FORGOTTEN SHE HAD PIANO LESSONS. LMAO.

that ben ben der.
piano also can forget.
my 'clever' dum
hahas.

good luck for your Vivo Amazing race today :D

darn funny.
i love you dum :D

alright.
till then.
ginkuan (:

Jog, weak

2009-04-06T18:49:00.002+08:00

omg just back from jogging.
i wna puke damn it.
feel super nauseous now.

SUPER weak nowadays i tell you.
earlier on during MT i fell asleep woke up with a headache.
and recently my hands and feet have been reallly cold.
darn.

mum said too much cold drinks spoilt my body.

i was FIT in the past.
nono.
i was HEALTHY in the past.

now i am sick and weak?
eeww
throw that thought away.
i would excercise more more more!
i decided to jog whenever i can.
preferably three times a week.

I MA BUSY WOMAN!

Anger.

2009-04-06T16:40:00.004+08:00

Totally pissed off by EYEBALL-less.
i cannt stand it.

its a prob between E(EYEBALL-less) and M.

E saw M with me today.
we purposely walked seperate ways but E still saw us.
so,
E got $%^&* up and called M.
E was like grumbling whatever in the phone asking M to go find E and ps me.
M was frustrated so M said she also my friend want me to ps her?
I was getting frustrated so i told M.
give me the phone.
M din wanted to as E was standing quite a distance away.
i wanted to tell E.
whats your problem man.wtf you want.
who are you to control M?

If i were M i would just Kop E's phone seriously.
wtf is your problem larh.
so what if you only got M.
thats cos you are sucha LOSER.
Luckily it was M.
M still tried to compromise with E.
wtf.
i would just say bye.
I would not even need a person like E to be around me.

however it made me thought.
should i really make things worse for M.
maybe i should just not wait for M.

But thinking.
Why should because of E affect things between me and M?
I dont want M to suffer thats why.
and E is sucha control freak if it was me.
The communication would already been cut OFF.
E keep threatening M larh wtf.

M doesnt want to hurt E.
THATS WHY.

M told me that it angered M.
then i was like you angry still smiling arh?
The next thing M told me was about this sch with nice ppl and M was all high over it.
OMG.

you call that angry.
that M was like how is angry?
then M tried to act angry which ended up being extremely hilarious.
M was like' walao eh'
and try to give a very jiao face.

what do you expect from sucha nice face can produce a jiao bin?
hahas.

M has the Natural blush the whole day.
so i teased M.
'M you see me then xin tiao jia su right? XD (you see me then your heart pump and blush)'
then M was like awww .
LOL.
crazy M

Bottom line:
FUCK OFF E.
you suck.
you are sucha loser.
know how to spell loser?
L
O
S
E
R

Leave M alone. quit threatening M.
YOU SUCK LARH.
LOSER FREAK.

lastly.
you can nvr know how to treasure M.
cos you are E( EYEBALL-LESS)

i dont.

2009-04-04T22:43:00.002+08:00

i dont want to see.
i dont want to think.
i dont want to feel.
i dont want to hear.
i dont want to KNOW anything about it.

damn it.
everytime i see it.
everytime i see something new about it i feel horrible.
i felt so cut off.
wait.
when was i not cut off?
when was there something i knew?

damn.
it sucks.
i wished i was like you ppl.
happy with it.
i aint.

there are many things to rant about.
Many.
it could be pages long and ppl will think i am just typing all the negatives no positives.
whatever.

i aint getting what i should this particular job.
ppl are getting higher than what they derserve when they just slack off and away.
ask me to get ppl to help.
i asked.
help given?
no.
just thrown behind you head.
i aint the head of it.
i am just Assisting it and i have more things to do than i should.
for this, almost everything is on me.

i know its complicating trying to understand cos EVERYTHING that i wanna rant about it mixed together.

--
whatever.
there is so much to think about.

Sabotage

2009-04-02T22:05:00.002+08:00

001. Real name → Chua Gin Kuan

002. Nickname(s) → Gk

04. Zodiac sign → Scorpio

0o5. Male or female → Female

006. Elementary → Shuqun Primary

007. Middle School → Fuhua Secondary

008. University → I WANT NUS LAW FACULTY

009. Friends → Yes.

010. Hair color → Black with some tint of brown

011. Long or short Hair → Short

012. Loud or Quiet → LOUDD

013. Sweats or Jeans → Sweats

014. Phone or Camera → Phone

015. Health freak → Alright? more like neat freak

016. Drink or Smoke? →NONE

017. Do you have a crush on someone? → No ATM

018. Eat or Drink → Yes.

019. Piercings → nope. too afraid of pain

020. Tattoos → Pain

FIRSTS ;

023. First piercing → Nope

024. First best friend → Anne? Dum? i do have alot of friends i treasure, i guess you can count them in.

025. First award → Cant rmb

026. First crush → Pretty Long Ago.

027. First pet → GOLD FISH

030. First big birthday → 1st? dad booked a chalet

CURRENTLY ;

049. Eating → No

050. Drinking → No

052. I'm about to → Sleep

053. Listening to → Last Night By Diddy Feat Keyshia Cole

054. Plans for today → Last plan- sleep

055. Waiting for → This quiz to end

YOUR FUTURE ;

058. Want kids? → Yea. 2 i think.

059. Want to get married? → When i meet the right person

060. Careers in mind → Lawyer, professional Debater

WHICH IS BETTER ?

068. Lips or eyes → Eyes

070. Shorter or taller? → TALLER

072. Romantic or spontaneous → 40% Romantic. 60% Spontaneous

073. Nice stomach or nice arms → NONE

074. Sensitive or loud → Both

075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship

076. Trouble maker or hesitant → IDK

HAVE YOU EVER ;

080. Lost glasses/contacts → No. but i broke my glasses before

081. Ran away from home → No.

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → No.

083. Killed somebody → No

084. Broken someone's heart → i think so.

085. Been arrested → YES and its for a darn lame reason

087. Cried when someone died → I dont think so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ;

089. Yourself → depends

090. Miracles → I just hope

091. Love at first sight → Yes

092. Heaven → IDK

093. Santa Claus → i want my very own Santa Claus

094. Male Nipples → OMG

095. Kiss on the first date → NO.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY ;

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → No

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No

099. Do you believe in God → Nothing about religion please.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

→i shall not Sabo any one.

i was being Sabo by Roshawn.

LOL.

addiction?

2009-03-24T18:10:00.003+08:00

i wna watch my She Diao Ying Xiong Zhuan now :D
i am addicted to it larhhh :D
MIO TV :D
but its gna be over soon.
tmd.
ytd roshawn spammed my phone.
LOL.
goddamn epic.
101 sms.
weihao was like.
eh gk your phone.
then i see omg 30 plus then we slowly see the no.tick on.
finally i off my phone.
reading was then over, went up the class, on my phone.
whole phone lag.
LOL.
then tick again.
70.....80.....90.... then i EH PREC SEE.
LOL.
then 101!
lmao.
i had a bad time clearing.
i din wna clear inbox.
my inbox from my bday till now leh.
maisiao siao :D
hahas.

stupid porkfloss.
that time Changi Rush so hungry ask you come my sch let me eat you dun want.
then spam my phone warh.
LOL.
just only if he is a real porkfloss.

sch today was alright.
aftersch was #$%^&*
thanks to dum.
she wants to be a superwoman.
hai me become sidekick.
super tiring i tell you.

damn.
maths homework.
lol I DUN CARE :D
hahas.

humjingpeng says that he wants to complain to my parents tmr at meet the parents.
but TOO BAD.
my parents aint going hee :D
complain say i bully him.
who start 1st.huh.
say me.
tsk.

hee.
mum's birthday is tmr.
gng icing room to design a cake for her :D
Pops is in charge of her present.
my dad has LOTS of ideas i tell you.
:D
hee.

alright
till then
:D

X factor

2009-03-23T20:06:00.004+08:00

this should be a quick post i think.
wanted to post.
but no time.
this X factor post.
if i dun post i will explode.
its been in my mind for long

its about some X factor that some has.

X factor is something not everyone has i think.
this X factor is some thing that attracts ppl.
I realise there is just two person by me that has it.
its an Extreme Factor.
i just realise the other on today.
omg some ppl should be thinking that i am crazy.
the 1st person's X factor is fading.
the 2nd one is coming out so strong that is woooo.
attract ppl as in.
hmm. ppl just go to you .
thats what i am talking about :D

not some lesbo or gay or BGR whatever attract here and there.
its like really something.
ok if you cannt understand here then dun read on :D

finally i realise that some just has X factor.
hahas.
and i found the solution that i was looking for earlier on :D

knowing and understanding feels so much better.
ppl with X factor are hard to understand
i only know one person that has gone real close to them.
not EASY.
lol.
kay larh.

just X factor.
obvious i dun have right.
LOL OBVIOUS.

there aint no definition for it.
but well...
hahas.
there are just ppl who have and ppl who doesnt.
nthing wrong with having and not having :D

hee :D

time to do chinese.
damn -.-

happy birthday peihan(:

2009-03-16T21:12:00.002+08:00

EH YOU PEIHAN~!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D

old ah pek.
hope everything will be smooth going for you.
lastly.
enjoy your 15th birthday :D

events.

2009-03-16T20:37:00.002+08:00

ytd was mad.
precelia and jerlin came over for projects.
they are coming over tmr again.
LOL.

we keep forgetting to take things.
1st thumbdrive.
then collect photos.

we train here and there EVERYWHERE.
about like 2 bucks on travelling tmd.

LOL.
holiday starts (:
went back for lessons.
hee.
SS came and went.
DarrenK helped prec and i got some food.
thanks :D

councillors meeting.
hee.
me and boon v jian XD
hee.

i had an appointment :D
an 'appointment' with Bigo.
hee.
LOL he was laughing when i came online i told him.
oops.

i slacked the whole day away.
i need to start on my work fast.
oh man.
i am stuck with XCM now.
super cool.
just got Shadow Master today.
thanks Ken :D

--

it wont be long before i would need you once again.
but there is a new problem.
who is that you?

haha?
laughing is the last prove of my sanity.

--

Just Stand Up - Mariah Carey, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fergie, Sheryl Crow, Miley Cyrus, Melissa Etheridge, Ashanti, Natasha Bedingfield, Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Leona Lewis, Leann Rimes, & Carrie Underwood

The heart is stronger than you think
It's like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on, though

Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into
your heart the beat goes on

I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up
Don't you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know

CHORUS
If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up

Who are we to be
questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

It's like we all have better days
Problems getting all up in your face
Just because you go through it
Don't mean it got to take control, no

You ain't gotta find no hiding place
Because the heart can beat the hate
Don't wanna let your mind keep playin' you
And sayin' you can't go on

I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall
Dust if off, don't let up

Don't you know you
Can go
Be your own
Miracle
You need to know

CHORUS
You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind
If you fall, dust it off

You can live your life
Yeah
Let your heart be your guide
Yeah yeah yeah
And you will know that you're good if you trust in the good
Everything will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark, if you follow your heart
And it will get better
Through whatever

CHORUS

You got it in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
You got in now, find it within now
You got in you, find it within
Find it within you, find it within
Everyone: THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP

the day,

2009-03-13T22:13:00.003+08:00

the day i am able to tell you entirely would arrive when the day you open up.
truth flows.
not denials.
not lies.

thy truth.

marley and me.

2009-03-13T21:43:00.003+08:00

movie.
with prec,mag,darrenK, lizheng and eugene.

its pretty diff.
its with UG this time hahas.
he sit beside me in the cinema.

lessons were alright.
was totally depressed and tired.
thanks to sports carnival.
i shall not say much here (:
extremely worn out.
we need rest too kay.

english test.
hahas.
too sleepy to think.
camp on thurs and fri.
some leader ship camp for CCA councillors.

sch ended with lots of homework.
damn.
LOL.

movie at causeway point.
we went to JP 1st then realise dun have.
went to causeway.
lunch.
was HUNGRY.
hee.
ordered Cookies and Cream milkshake.
it was only delivered in the middle of the movie.
i thought they werent gna serve it.

then marley and me progressed till this part super touching.
even DarrenK and lizheng were crying.
so there were plenty of sniffing around.
then Eugene asked me.
'eh you all crying or laughing?'

LOL.
i totally dun wna answer i dun wna have the crying sound to reply LOL.
LZ and Dk cried hahas.
i see Eugene just like sit there nothing.
lmao.
there was one part.
i was guessing with Eugene how many kids they had.
pretty confusing.
hahas.

LOL.
its was FREEZINGGG in there i tell you.
i was shivering when i drank the milkshake.
plus crying.
fking paiseh.
i purposely lean towards mag.
away from Eugene XD

ended woo.
Plenty of Swollen eyes.
XD
shall not specify further.
its not me ahahaha.
my eyes just like surrounding abit nia :D

kkay.
very tired now.
have not recovered from the Sports Carnival.

Congratulations 5S1 on getting Champ.
Congratulations 5S2 on getting second.
Congratulations 4E1 on getting third.

Good effort 4E4 and 4E2.

i hope i rmbed correctly.

right there :D
bye ppl.
till then.
ginkuan (:

complications. unknowns.

2009-03-13T21:36:00.002+08:00

was i blind?
what happened to me.
to only realise it till this stage when its so hard to turn back.

i should have been ready for this.
what taken me off?
the jealousy?
possible.
you always have something i dont.
talk about fairness. there is no such thing in the world.
never talk about fairness.
i should have been ready.
i cannot understand my self now.
i cannot stand unknowns.
unknowns.
left me blind.
left me lost.
who would.
pull me out of all this.
i can not place this on any one at this stage.
the only one.
would be myself.
would i be able to.
when i am blind, unable to know.
having unknowns around.
even having advantages.
no i did not had advantages.
advantages i once thought i had was null now.
it was nothing compared to that.

i should have been prepared.
what thing made me recoil this much?
did i even recoiled.
i think i did.
mentally i was totally unable to go on.
i was blind.
in a state of shock.

its not something i can go on.
its not something i can specify.
its not something i can say.
its not something others would care.
its not something i can move on ignoring.

its time to solve it.
last question.
how?

i cannot get it.

2009-03-08T17:43:00.003+08:00

i cannot get it.
i doubt i would ever understand it.
till the day its open up to me.
till then maybe i would.
till then when it open up.
would i be there to see it.

i need a better understanding of it.
life is hard without knowing it.
without getting the true side of it.
unable to know whats is in or what it is is a torture to me.

till the day arrives.
i would still be in the torture chamber.

mag is 15 tmr :D

2009-03-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

MAG.
you are gna be OFFICIALLY 15 tms.
rejoice you old woman :D

hahas.
extremely drowsy now.
sis say my lips are pale,

been texting zhixian the whole day?
hahas.
i think she is sleeping now.

dinner with BIG family later on.
cousins over.
i still feel sleepy.
i wna talk to bigo.
he was keeping me entertained ytd.
LOL.

sch tmr.
still thinking whether to stay up.
mag's birthday.
but very sleepy leh.
tsk.
sigh.

havent got her present.
no idea what to get.
come on suggestions please?

--

i got injured everywhere ytd.
LOL.
plaster here and there.
knocked my elbow at my room door.

wapiang.
lol.

--

ok i ll end here.
still very drowsy.
aunt is here.

till then.
loves.
ginkuan (:

P.S.
its so good not having to race with dogs.
so tired of it.

School Work. HomeWork. School Work. HomeWork.

2009-02-27T16:13:00.002+08:00

LOL.
DAMN.
totally stressed out earlier on during hist lesson.
i am like wrecking my head trying to decipher what ms cheong is saying.

and her last question.
i think i did.
i hope its the right one.
if it is.
then i ll score :D
the last question.
made me think real hard.
whats the link.

wooo.
i got it.
dunno how many brain cells aged to think of that question.
hahas.

the rest of the day was easy.
fatmehmeh isint here today.
free period.
crapped around.
hahas.
home at 3 :D

lots of homework this weekend.

maths
maths
maths
physics
physics
physics
chem

things to mug for
HISTORY.
CHEMISTRY.
PHYSICS.

omg larh seriously.
all the memo shit all tgth.
my poor head.

sigh.
School Work. HomeWork. School Work. HomeWork.

precelia had been going home directly after sch this few days.
tskk

and.
the guys keep bullying jerlin this few days.
LOL.
i gta like strangle shaoyan to make him return jerlin's handphone?wallet?
its either one.
today.
jerlin's waterbottle.
LOL.
jerlin be honoured see this whole section on you leh.
XD

argh.and.
the stupid UG keep say i am funny.
its like everytime walk pass S4 and he see me he will like call me and laugh at me -.-
i dun understand whats so funny.
i dun catch the joke

w/e

--

ahaha.
at least dog is taming it self this few days.
cool eh:D
i like it.
but there are times it went a lil haywire.
hahas.

but w/e

--

time to mug :D
loves.
ginkuan :D

what's your problem dad.

2009-02-23T21:51:00.002+08:00

lol just let my dad signed the maths test.
17/25.
the one ms tan said i had improvement.

he saw my score.
he din say anything.
he complained about the pen he used to sign instead.

in chinese:
'what a lousy pen, you see sign already the ink so weak.'
then give me some JB.

get use to it.
my dad is never pleased with my results.

i din even bothered to tell him class highest is just 19
i think he will end up saying.
then why arent you the highest?

too tired to bother and talk back now.
i just need sleep.

i have serious sleep deprivation.

good night world :D

yuanyuan (:

2009-02-23T21:38:00.002+08:00

had the urge to post.
so here i am posting :D.
exams are near the corner.
totally upset by it.
i wna watch he's just not that into you.
tskkkk.
stupid exams.

lessons are pretty dull.
OH.
i am a CCA councilor(however you spell it, i cant)
and i am VICE CHAIRMAN.
chairman is that Mok-ku.
hahas.
i lost in scissors paper stone.
lmao.
hence mok is chair man getting the marks equivalent to EXCO
woah.
you zhuan dao larh.
not bad i VICE LEH :D

yuanyuan say we BHB.
lol.
who cares.
got point can liao.
some projects coming up.

ms tan says i am slowly improving on my maths :D
i am happy.
hahas.
i am using very vague words.
like.
i am happy. Lmao :D
today is a very tiring day for me.
lethargic.
i think i ll hit the sack earlier :D

basketball after school :D

--

quit making it that obvious.
it tough enough handling a dog.
dont come looking for me you this persian cat.

--

dont ruin my beautiful mood :D
so tired so sleepy hahas.

i ll go do some situps and leg lifting then off to lala land
i really bth liao.

till then.
ginkuan :D

ohman, time flying.

2009-02-21T18:41:00.002+08:00

jeepers.
next week is CT already.
ohman.
i havent noticed.
LOL
if it wasnt for yang baobao.
lol.

wokeup at 8.30?
breakfast.
homework.
homework.
slack slack.
thats pretty much my day already.

oh and there is some limited edition for pens going on.
placed my order already.
freaking excited now just gta pay payment :D

--

idk how to explain how i am feeling.
Jealous? Envy?
aint no right word.

everything is on and good for you.
there aint stuffs for you to bother about.
you are pratically enjoying your carefree life.
i wish mine was like yours.
not indentically but at least close.
but no.
its far from it.

i cant be jealous of you for you are too dear to me.
envy still doesnt seem to be the right word.

LOL.

--

get over it.
its so hard to race with you.
all i ever want is peace.
all you ever want is victory.

dont make me let you have the taste of your own medicine.
i treat people the way i want to be treated.
i aint doing to you YET.
because i dun like how it feels.

it feels like utter crap and shit.
not a tint of beauty.
just alot of ugliness.

stop it.

if thats what it takes.
i ll do what it takes.

--

with love (:
ginkuan (:

500th (:

2009-02-12T18:50:00.003+08:00

alright:D
this is the 500th post.
even with the (: and :D
i dun feel high.
at all -.-
due to my ongoing concussion.
this sucks.
my back of my head/brain is pain ><
giving me a headache.
very giddy too.
i walk also can haywire.

damn.
bloody wangbadan that hit my head.
i end up crying.
warh the tears just boom.
then my tears came out.
its like.
walao
kinda ps.
but heck larh.
all classmates.
i5 and s2 der.
so its alright.

stupid man.
roar.

i still have some maths to complete.
but i will take it easy.
i dun feel like doing chinese lol.

my head hurts like #$%^&
damn.
i feel like pon-ning sch tmr.
but there is like i5 in old i5 classroom.
i have to go!
i miss them so much.

oh well.

till then.
with loves.
ginkuan :D

never understand.

2009-02-11T19:25:00.003+08:00

School.
Choir.

cold war on going with mum.
things just aint going the way i wanted or i wished.

Choir.
Kept trying for SYF.

Academic.
i keep failing my maths checkpoints.
my homework is always rushing.

Relations.
Complications.

Family.
Cold war on going.
Dad doesnt appreciate the effort.
and does not understand what i being through.

sis's test 75%
dad-warh ppl 75%.
i 76%
dad-you think this is very good?

wtf.
at my age.
a 75% is just like 85 in primary school.
wtf.

my dad just does not understand what i am being through.

so i thought.
if one day i succeeded.
i will not thank my dad for giving me the pressure to push me.
i will only praise myself for not crumbling under it.

So far in my memo.
my dad hasnt praise me for my academic.
no matter what my friends and i thought.
we may think hmm.
not bad quite well scored.
my dad never fails.
do you think this is enough? why other can get higher then you.
wtf.

from this sentence its like you expect me to be highest...
then.
why others dad earn like 10k a month you cannot be like them?
Why other ppl's father is MP. PM or president why you are not?
its the same logic.

so shut the fuck up and appreciate what i give you you bastard.

when the day i really cannot take it.
you are gna get what you derserve for not praising or appreciating my academic effort for past 15 years.

Seriously.

if all this issues carry on.
idk when i need the counsellor -.-
so sick and tired of all these.

maybe counsellor is a good idea.

Friday

2009-02-06T18:06:00.002+08:00

Its Friday :D
saturday tmr.
which means.
choir.
oh man.
darn excited about the re auditions.
Ms Angila/Angela decided to give me a second chance.
she sees the effort i am putting in :D
weee.

i gta get it.
or else i will be drop dead disappointed.

will wake up and practise tmr morning.
guai enough ?

lessons today were a breeze :D
chem came and past.
English too.

had anth surprise test by ms tan.
History.
Ms Cheong FINALLY comes.
-squeals-
MUAHAHA.
lastly chinese.

we pratically wasted the whole day.
hahas.

lots of homework for the weekend.
tsk.
thats v saddening.
its raining now.
v cooling.

alright mum is calling.

till then.
ginkuan (:

Quit invading.

2009-02-03T19:24:00.002+08:00

Same stuffs.
School was alright today.
did not suffered random mood swings.
I am starting to like my new class:D
with cute ppl :D
ppl like.

xiao BOONNNN.
zexun (:
SERGEANT ONG!teckwu.
ALFRED ANG TECK SHIN.
Vincent pretty lee :D
aaron hahas.
and TEG!!!

oh and i simple admire sarah:D
she seems v cute .
at least she din have problems handing up her essays :X

see i like my class afterall.
sort of gathering with usual I5 ppl :D

our cards got confiscated by the guard.
TSKK.
LOL.

thats the end of the day :D

--

pretty much well at concealing my feelings :D
thats good.

--

till then much loves :D
ginkuan

mask.

2009-02-02T20:19:00.002+08:00

School.
Choir.
Nothing much.
Pretty high morning i had.
Good recess.
Mission accomplished with yummy.
Dum was Really happy with her present :D

Choir in the afternoon.
Thats pretty much my day.

putting up a mask is tiring.
holding it on to it is even tiring.
only when you are alone.
can the mask be let down.

even when you are upset, dissappointed.
you have to smile when people look at you.
its amazing how hard it is to look natural.

the edge of dissappointment is in deep.
its not as if i did not put in my effort.
i am sick and tired of being reserve.
sick and tired being average.
i need to find my forte.
soon.
and fast enough.
before all this crap turn to become so much that i can barely take it.

--

glad to see you strong and standing.
living up to it.
thats the way shexxaye.
i want to see your smile again.
your smile make the horrible feeling of knowing the end of the world but not being able to do anything.
Good luck and take care.
flash your smile again :D

--

its amazing how i actually want to cheer ppl on when i am in such shit.
i know i will get over dissappointment.
i know i will.
time for homework.
time to sign off.

with love.
ginkuan.

P.S.
BIGO.
come online please :D
i miss talking to you already.
i will leave an offline message.
cya soon enough bigo.

movie.

2009-01-30T21:07:00.002+08:00

movie with the girls :D
prec,mag, zx and jerlin :D

Bride Wars.
we were pretty late.
we were rushing.
sorry to make jerron wait.
he paid me 24 bucks :D
gave him a dollar discounts since i was late XD

Bride wars was alright.
its really nice to see the two good friends :D

' you know there is someone there when you needed, it may be your spouse or it may be someone who was always there for you'

this should be the rough quote :D
i think its pretty good.

there were a few things up for laughs today.
hahas.
we kept bullying mokky sao.
LOL.
since mokku wasnt here XD
poor mokky sao hahas.

zhixian and i had to witnessed people in action LOL.
which is pretty annoying larhzxzx.
whatever that happened and improved seemed to deproved.
lmao.

oh zhixian had a pretty cool adventure.
we were like on the train going zhixian faster.
then the moment the train 'titi' we omg. zhixian where are u.
then this moment zhixian came up the escalator then run into the train.

COOL RIGHT.
v cool timing XD
mag was just nice as well.
we were just done with buying tickets :D

LOL.
hahas.
choir tmr.
i think i am gng.

lots of homework for the weekend.
roar.
i gtg bathe.
or else dad will prob $%&* at me.

oh and.

DUM I AM DONE WITH YOUR PRESENT :D

till then.
loves.
ginkuan.