movie with the girls :D
prec,mag, zx and jerlin :D

Bride Wars.
we were pretty late.
we were rushing.
sorry to make jerron wait.
he paid me 24 bucks :D
gave him a dollar discounts since i was late XD

Bride wars was alright.
its really nice to see the two good friends :D

' you know there is someone there when you needed, it may be your spouse or it may be someone who was always there for you'

this should be the rough quote :D
i think its pretty good.

there were a few things up for laughs today.
hahas.
we kept bullying mokky sao.
LOL.
since mokku wasnt here XD
poor mokky sao hahas.

zhixian and i had to witnessed people in action LOL.
which is pretty annoying larhzxzx.
whatever that happened and improved seemed to deproved.
lmao.

oh zhixian had a pretty cool adventure.
we were like on the train going zhixian faster.
then the moment the train 'titi' we omg. zhixian where are u.
then this moment zhixian came up the escalator then run into the train.

COOL RIGHT.
v cool timing XD
mag was just nice as well.
we were just done with buying tickets :D

LOL.
hahas.
choir tmr.
i think i am gng.


lots of homework for the weekend.
roar.
i gtg bathe.
or else dad will prob $%&* at me.

oh and.

DUM I AM DONE WITH YOUR PRESENT :D


till then.
loves.
ginkuan.

yea its new year tmr.
i dun feel excited actually.
LOL.
its like the same routine.
i just want to see my lil cousins.
i realise i am too lazy to post my new year clothes pic.

i am wearing heels this year.
fyi
i dun wear heels.
i wore pumps last year.
after wearing the heels,
i would hit 170 XD
muahaha.


my dad expects too much from me.
its really depressing.
i am not some miss perfect.
dude.
get a life.
ppl are celebrating new year while i am studying.
wtf is wrong with you.
stop it.
or i will make you not expect anything from me.
cos its gna hurt.
dun make me do that.

--

new year is suppose to be a joyous occasion (:
i dun feel the joy now.
i hope i will.
soon enough.

oh yes.
books.
reminds me of something.
and it got me angry.
LOL.

i realise.
when i loan the book to you.
you din took good care of it.
i said GOOD care.
not no care alright.

and then the latest.
you just wrapped it without my permission.
its my book.
and only to my horror when u returned it to me.
and its wrapped in this. %*$%* condition.
what the hell?
your did not even seek my permission.
all i ever asked for is you to care for my books.
i noe that some of their conditions arent the best.
but i know.
cause i have no choice.
those are the best from the pile of shitty books.

so why did you not seek my permission?
not even a sms.

i don't mind lending it to you.
but what do i get in return?

nothing positive.
i thought in the 1st place that you would take nice care of them.
cos from what i see, you are pretty neat. and aint that sort who doesnt cares a hoot.

all i have to say is.
i am plain dissapointed.

however, thanks to you i think i would think twice when i lend my books to anyone.
as you know.
i dun really like books in the past.
but if i really get hook on them.
i take extreme care of them.
cos they cost a bit.

right.
enough of ranting :D

i dont know how to put my feeling today.

it was tiring.

but sumthing deep down.
i feel sumthing.
really annoying me.
no more like keeping me away from some stuffs.
i cannt explain it.
its just irks me.
and i ain't liking the feeling of it.
maybe it wasnt meant to be typed out in words.

reunion dinner tonight.
tiring morning i have today.
recently caught the reading bug.
i just want to sit there and read and do nothing else.
and my mum has a fine collection of detective books :D
just done with The Sky Is Falling by Sidney Sheldon.
Dana Evans is hot. (:

lets see whats the next book that i going to catch my attention.
so when i am done with all my mum's books.
i will go back and read my harrypotter- half blood prince & deathly hallow.
when those are cleared.
i will read my twilight saga over again :D
i just dont seem to have enough dosage of it :D

i guess thats for the day?
i hope i have a superb new year.
the starting of this year doesnt seem very good.
alright.

cousins and aunts should be arriving in an hour.
till then(:

Loves.
ginkuan.

totally upset.
no not upset.
anger. frustrated.
dad just cannot seem to understand.
and we just seem unable to communicate and that sucks.

Sch was alright.
passed.
maths test.
sure i got the 2nd question right.
at least i wun get a big fat zero.

mdm tay was away.
free period.
mona cheong is still not coming.
free period.

humanities.
ms chan was nice to get me a green pen as a reward for debating well ytd.
thanks ms chan.
thats most prob the only nice thing of the day.

mrs seah has badminton.
early dismissal.
its that easy.

but things got boiled up when i met up with roshawn to get presents for Dum.
i cant get Yum cos she had training.
i cant get my classmates cos they dont know dum LOL.
so i got roshawn,
pretty frustrated on thinking what to get for dum and roshawn aint anyhelp.
to make things worse.
we met on face to face with Daoyi and Simin.
and the timing was just nice when roshawn was returning me my necklace.
tmd.

then Simin gives me that 'oh my' look.
i mean like.
many ppl take it as a girl and a boy alone = stead.
lol.
but its not larh walao.
then roshawn understood what i meant and tried to drag me along to explain it to them.
but how LOL.
it seems even worse.

then he just insist on me following.
i got terribly pissed and turn away and walk off.
he called me to meet to pass me back my waterbottle -.- and said bye.
at least i have some alone time to cool down.

then sms-ed daoyi.
daoyi said she dun understand so oh well.

totally frustrated.
got what i want for dum.
now just need to fill them up.

was in no mood for homework when i homed.
watch dvd instead.
dad came home and started fucking crap about me watching DVD.

my peaceful mind became fucked up this time.
then he relate me watching the disc to my results.
then to my pocket money.
then i said he is always trying to use my pocket money to threaten me.
then he insist it wasnt.
so i flared up and said.
yes its black mailing.
i off-ed my dvd and here i am venting my anger.
totally angry.

wtf is wrong with him.
i cant scold son of a bitch.
or else i would be scolding at my grandmum.

great.
now my sis is coming to irritate me.
why dont they understand the meaning of shut up and dun agitate me.
wtf is wrong with their language.
i told her agitating me is gna get dad more angry cos we would most prob be screaming and shouting.
she just doesnt understand.
that bloody bitch.
i will slap her tonight.
when she is asleep.
lets see how long my anger lasts.
or when it will fade.
totally mood-less for homework now.

mood for reading.
but i forgotten to bring my book back.
guess i would read the twilight saga.
till then.
let me vent off my anger.

today was alright.
lessons was pretty sian.
but overall.
its alright.
a maths.
got scolded for getting a BIG FAT ZERO lmao.
oops.

then humanities?idk.
debation.
lol.
ms chan praised me.
on cloud nine :D.
just joking.
just really glad she thought i did well :D

then e maths.
history.
chinese cher din come again :D

then chem and physics.
both SPA :D

sch ended.
headed to hall to help to cheer.
one of my duties lmao.
to get attendance.
crap eh?
lol.

after it was over.went over to look for shaoyan.
ended up talking with huien and ben chia.
huien and i talked for v long.
she is v resourceful.
-laughs-
talking with ben too.
felicia as well :D
felicia SIM :D
thats super funny ass oops XD

talked till 6 plus.
homed at 7 :D

dinner.
then now here i am :D
i love my blog again :D
wooooooo!

gna watch ijime tonight.
its the last episode .
MUAHAHAHA.
so i gtg to do my A maths.
and probably my essay.
:D

bye guys.

--

today was nice.

i am high all over.
thanks the jacq that crab.
i see her i went high :D
too long nvr play liao :D

then prec and shao yan.
eh gk why u so high?

happy marh :D
i bullied her.
MUAHAHA.

choir was alright.
had jacq's sms to fill up.
nthing much singing LOL.
badminton tmr.
good luck fuhua :D
go C girls
i ll be there to support XD
well i was forced to support.
lmao.
hahas.

alright :D

pe today was funny.
alfred step and cut my leg
tsk.

no maths homework today.
how cool?
:D

ALOT AND ALOT of free periods today.
too goooood to be true :D

hahas.overall i had a great day :D
home at 7 :D
thats roughly all i think.


COME BACK MORE YOU CRAB :D.


with love :D
lobster :D

shopping with zhixian mag prec and jerlin.
din buy anything.
though seeing some to my liking.
the atmosphere just wasnt suitable for fitting clothes.
i did saw a top at TOPSHOP though.
but its freaking exp
73. oh man.
freaking nice.
ask zhixian.
of cos.
it was just for the fun of fitting :D
even though how nice it was.
i din buy any.

mayb i should go shopping with dum instead.
dum's shopping style is some how like mine :D
go into everyshop and see whats special :D
i think?

:D
but i think its hard now since i attempted the 1st one.
i doubt my dad would allow?
idk.
dum lets go shopping someday.
i dun care already.

school was alright.
just kept on anticipating the shopping in the noon.
other than prec and jerlin.
none of us bought anything.
zhixian got her magazine though :D
also thanks to shaoyan and lizheng for accompanying us(:

oh and i realise.
lizheng's eyes are beautiful :D
seriously.
he wore contacts today
cause he transitions spoilt thanks to DarrenK i think.
i got 'electrocuted' by his eyes.
hahas.
its really beautiful.
his double eye lids.
his eyes is not like shuai or sumthing.
its just beautiful.

ok i must stop praising his eyes.
or else some ppl would most prob start bitching around.
hahas.

thats pretty much the day.
train-ed home with mag and zhixian.
we were talking and talking.
ppl looked like us LOL.
cos we were laughing away.
:D

home at 7+


--


i need my dosage of medicine.
medicine of depressions.
i need my dosage of happiness.
enough dosage of ecstasy.

things are wearing me out day by day.
i am tired.
really.
its really tiring having to smile from time to time.
having to answer questions like why do u look so gloomy?
how do u expect me to answer?
say like what?
i dont have an answer for that.plain weariness.
yarh i am unhappy and its all your fault? wth? saying that wun make u feel nice neither do i.
yea maybe thats just why i am gloomy and stuff. or was it just and excuse? i dont know.
totally deadbeat from shopping with the girls.


--

oh and.
i wanna thank Bigo Kamo :D
he had been real nice.
thanks bigo :D its like u are a REAL biological brother to me.
just that u are in the States now.
big time diff.
its been long since i talked to u.
even though we leave offline messages.
i think u do come here and read.
so i want to thank you for being by me :D
its the weekend soon enough in a few hours.
and i am going to talk to you! :D
how cool is that Bigo ?
and u called me what Lilo?
sounds like Lilo and Stitch maybe it nicer its its Lil'ol
eh Bigo Brothero Kamo :D

thanks alot :D

--

ending here.
with love
ginkuan.

things are getting better in some area.
family is getting worse,

really dread now.
i haven do maths homework.
totally no mood.
damn.

shopping tmr with mag,prec and jerlin :D
i quarelled with dad about that.
wtf.
i feel really bad.
dad says mum's company is starting to retrench.
wtf.

but all my sis has like two sets.
and he only expects me to buy just one.
wth.
i am already like being nice enough to buy a crumpler myself.
not making u spend the 126bucks for the crumpler.
now u are giving me some bullshit crap about not letting me buy new year clothings.
wtf?

even though i feel bad.
i still think that.
i am not wrong wanting to buy new clothes.
i dun keep on going shopping all year round.
not that kinda xiao jie.
now they are depriving me the chance of shopping when i find it a need.
wtf.

dude.
i am earning hard enough.
trying hard enough to not keep asking you for money.
and now everything u gave me is crap.
wtf is all this going on -.-

at most.
stop giving me pocket money.
and i will earn it myself.
if u think its sucha big burden.
fine.
i dun mind stop taking pocket money.
i just have to earn the pocket money.
thats all.

its gna be tiring.
but if its inevitable i will.

wth man.
i ask you nicely to go shopping with them.
then u tell me about shopping with u ppl.
then i thought i buy one set with friends i buy anth set with you all.
then now u ask me buy one set.
wtf.

look at your self dad.
u bought like 4 sets of new shirts.
3 new shorts.

and i merely bought a tee in malaysia.
and u are giving me all this rubbish.
the fav word u like.
GARBAGE.
wtf.

totally ruin my mood.
i just feel like lying on my bed listening to music and not think of anything.
what the hell.
all the crap u are giving me.
now u say that i am comparing.
arent u?
u are saying that economy is bad.
so does it mean when it is better.
u can turn time back.
and make it new year again.
then buy two sets of clothes for me?

cut the crap.
seriously.
this is getting irritating.
just mood for ranting and ranting.
and dum is dead some where.
no where to be found.

i doubt anyone would care a hoot about how i felt.

and i accept it.

i have no idea what the title is gna be,
LOL.
nthing special today.
eh ok i think there is.
i gta like wake up at 6 on a sat.
total uncoolness.
we are like sitting at mac for half an hr like idiots.
bullshit.
waste time.
we gta go back to promote our cca.
i dun feel like saying the details LOL.

alright home at 11 :D

just cleaning up my room.
its darn messy i swear larh.

even after packing its still very messy,
dad is painting sis's room.
dad says he is still considering painting my room as well.
its gna be LIME GREEN :D
sis and i agreed on it hee.

horrible horrible room.

i am gna start on audition again i think.
maybe Dota XD
i have nthing to play.
joel is gna lend me his disc :D
uh oh.
the guys are gna bully me.
hahas.

i wna play something nice.
CS?
XD

who noes?
i may even start maple again LOL WUT?

--

argh
Fluc just challenged me to battle.
warh die LOL.
he keep saying he will lose.
damn.
dateline two weeks.
i have no tricks already.
all have been used for Singapore Collab LOL.
manzxzx.
i need to think of sumthing.

--

i tried not to think :D

i see now.
it just seems that i need a lil more effort.
all i want from you not to reject it.
thats all i want from you alright.
i will use extra effort.

i will.

damn douche shit.
i was right.
damn it.
this weird feeling came.
or rather.
i was anticipating it.
i knew it would come.
but i din expect it to overwhelm me.

i was glad.
afterall i took control.
or else i cant give a damn shit to excuse it.
most importantly it wasnt noticed.

it came out right to the door of breaking the door.
but i held it back.
pull it back then slam it shut.
but still some still escaped.
then i had to excuse it.

i never like that.
thinking about the numbers.
i thought its gna turn out right.
but i still got shit.

this sucks.
and i am dreading to go back, reminisce.
it just sucks.
and i have a hard time covering it damn.
it wasnt easy to hide something to be shown so easily.
damn.
i need to get over this.
and it aint gna be easy.

but i still feel unfair.
why do i also have to get this weird feeling.
over and over again.
this weird feeling always tag to me when i was in pri sch.
now i am in sec sch.
even though i manage to shake it off for awhile.
just a slight while.
now its coming back.
twice stronger.
everytime i kept hope.
that i will kick that feeling away.
but this time.
everythings seem to be going on to a dead end.
do i really have to start on another road?
i dont want to.
starting of a new road means selection the correct one.
and its limited. and every road seems to have alot of bumps.

should i hit a dead end or go to a road full of bumps?
i seriously need to think.
its going so badly.
screw the weird feeling.
it pulls everything down.
i need to overcome it
but how?
knock a wall out of the dead end would be the best.
but i need the energy too.
where is the energy when i am a dead batt?
there are nothing to charge me up.

there must be way to end this shit.
there must be.
1st i need to recharge.
i need a charger.
there must be something that can recharge me but whats that?

i will try.
try my best to recharge, knock a wall out of the dead end and carry on walking.

but whenever i look back into the past, i felt like an idiot.
this has to end.
i ll try.

its the 1st day of sch today :D
its fine.
teachers are alright.

just havent met some of my teachers.
ok i have nothing to say about sch.
after sch.
hang out at the playground.

it was fun.
was with prec,mag,zx, jerlin,aizhen,shaoyan,joel and lizheng.
blind mice and ice and freeze :D
i played till my hand had a blister LOL.

overall its a great day.
just that now everytime gta seat in register no.
and i am surrounded by guys.
damn it.
LOL.

class seating is alright.
i am seating beside 'The Emo Guy'
hahas.
then on my left with a space.
vincent and zhihao.
at least vincent spins pens:D
i can talk to him i think.
tried talking to aaron infront.
not kinda working.
then have joey diagonally infront. she is infront of vincent.
prec is at the other end of the class.
jerlin aint very far away.
aizhen is at the 1st row 3 rd coulomn.

its just pretty boring.
thinkins that 'The Emo Guy' doesnt talks.
LOL.
i need to communicate or i will sleep like @$^$#@

hee ok :D