I don't know if you are purposely doing it infront of me.
Just to hurt me.
I don't know if you are doing it out of goodwill for another.
But it sure is not to a good will of me.

I don't care what you are planning next.
But you sure did came in at the wrong time.
It makes me feel you screw everything up.
No. I don't feel it.
It IS that way.

It was deliberately and obviously.


OhMyBuddha.
Quit screwing my life.

I cannot bring myself to listen to Mr R's advice.
For its painful.

Hypnotic
Yucky
Pissed
Over headed
Cursed
Ram
Idiot
That
Exists

wow i can take literature

Labels: literature

Alot of things are happening nowadays.
And things are constantly changing.
Its just like grasping sand.
You may succeed in getting a whole bunch or nothing at all.

Sand.
So, what i have been struggling to grasp was just sand.

--

Leaving for malaysia tmr.

Labels: Sand

Stop the crap.
Cut the crap.
Stop making it so obvious will you?
Even a blind man could see that.

Mr R said i am an Idiot not listening to him.
Mr R, how can i listen to you when facts are layed out right infront of my eyes.

The first thing i feel in the morning is awfulness.
Looking at the fact makes me gasp for air.

It feels as if i am going to break into pieces.

Mum says its all nonsense.
Nature would takes its course.
If it aint yours, it never will be.
I am good at that.

I ve to rearrange my priorities.

Mr R the academic duel is on (:

I long should have heed your advice.
Never should have held on.
Nonetheless, i have got to fight for what i think its true.
What i think i want.
You aint an item.
For that i understand and respect.

Labels: Mr R, Thanks.

Was on the phone with Roshawn earlier on.
The conversation was funny.
He was good at distracting me.
Thanks bud ( smacks his back )

" If you know there is a tsunami coming, run first, don't wait for it to hit you.
Take a train, a bus, a plane, a bike, a car, a jet or just run. Don't let it hurt you."
Quote from Mr Roshawn.

I found a way to stop getting my self hurt.
At least it was nice to talk with him.
We ended up challenging each other with academics.
He this sour grapes forever like that der.

Ok fine.
I shall stop here.
I ll go practise my chinese.

With Love.
Ginkuan

Labels: stop hurting your self

its been long since there was pictures here.
so here are some pictures.




















the Girls :D























This is the super cool uncle that gave us lots of discounts.
We were like pestering him for discounts :D
























SEE uncle i did help you advertise :D
As promised(:

Labels: Class Tee

I was at Youtube and i thought i searched for the Vids of SYF this year.
I managed to find the on announcing the results.



Fhss is at 1.05.
Choir got a gold.
Hahas.
Let me see if there is others.

Labels: Choir

From today onwards, i will try to blog with words fully typed out in proper english.
School today was totally UNPLEASANT.
It totally sucked.
Aizhen got caught for smuggling drinks.
Then i tried to say like she did not buy but somehow Mr Teo Eggman saw then crap started.
He called me a Rebel Leader.

If thats what you like.
I was still joking about the name with Simin and Aizhen.
'Yeah man, i am the head of Tamil Tigers' ( ok this has no OFFICIAL meaning, i know how things have been really sensitive about LTTE recently, it just happens we are on this topid (: )
Egg Man Teo Sucks.
Seriously.
Well i realise, i always guai lan them.
Well i dont know how to say guai lan in English XD

Lessons were sleepy.
I always end up sleepy in lessons.

School and Lessons were no longer enjoyable.
My class has alot of smart people ( i dont mean anything offensive)
My class just have alot of smart and clever people.
If you would just slack abit, people will catch up.
Thats HOW compeitive i feel it is.
Last year,
Yes my class is smart too.
But we dont like Really Push ourselves.
Most of us really started Mugging when its like the CT 2 and EYE.

You just plainly dont have the motivation.
Its like the same thing over and over again.
And everything gets doubly confusing.
Teachers were not as useful anymore. ( not saying that my teachers sucked)

Seriously its just PLAIN tiring.
Things are so god damn different.


--


Things were no longer that simple.
I can feel that is something wrong.
But i cannot find the problem of it.
Its something really wrong.
But,
if i really know whats the problem, will i have the courage to say to you.
I tried it once to the person but i lost that person.
It scares me now.
Its how amazing my mood can be swayed by small little things.

I feel weak.

--

Thanks for being there Dum.
At least i had you.
Not trying to be corny.
I wouldnt be me if it aint for you.
I have to give you my deepest gratitude.
For being the one there.
Being the one listening, being the only shoulder there.
It was never easy to find a shoulder like dum.

I use to tell Dum.
'Dum you are one in a millionth you know?'
Then she would.
'Wow, thats cool'
Cute eh?

Dum and Roshawn is almost similar.
Just That Stupid Roshawn Just Cant Be Bothered At Times.
i hope you read this you stupid man.
and you are always super slow.
But disturbing you is always nice.
At least you wont be angry at me.
Its not as if Dum would but she will.
'Eh i studying dont disturb, talk tomorrow'

Oh Dum & Roshawn is similar that,
You cannot use words like indirectly.
They just SIMPLY cannot find the link.
EQUALLY SLOW LOL

Hmmm.
Sounds like SS?
RT you better read, bug me about SS somemore i ll chop you.

--

i ll end here.
Feels so much better ranting about school.
Feels some much about appreciating others.

ginkuan.

Labels: Dum, Roshawn, School, Tired

omg larh i kinda dread sch nowadays.

i rmb last year actually looked forward leh.
with all the high times in sch.
this year.
class is like half dead-.-
super tired during lessons.
was struggling through SS and Physics.
My eyelids were HEAVY.

Maths Test sucked.
alright i realise.
today just sucked.

last question i had totally no idea how to solve.
feel v depressed.
PE was so-so.
ran around the sch for two rounds.
prec and i caught some dizzy spells.
i got over it fast.

lunch at macs aftersch.

and after that was chinese oral.
chinese oral sucked larh seriously.

Ms Yoong:
If you had a chance to take a Third Language what would it be?

Me:
An European language.

then i thought shit man i should say korean.

Ms Yoong:
Which EUROPEAN LANGUAGE?

Me:
French?

Ms Yoong:
Why?

Me:
then i would have a better opportunity to develope in France.

--

it totally sucked.
this oral is gna be worse then my english.

i dun feel like using com any more.
i ll go watch twilight.

bye world.

Labels: oral sucks

woo.
days are passing by one by one.
one deadline after another.
tmr is Chinese Oral.
i bet my lunch money all are trying find things to say now.

ytd was funny after school with the choir ppl.
quite a whole bunch of ppl.
hahas.
lets see.

shermaine.jasmine.peiying.tongmui.shirui.wendy.precelia.sawyi.jerlin.laisi.a guy.
me! (:

i hope i din forget any :D
hahas.
it was crazy i tell you.
we were like extremely noisy all around XD.

shermaine bought us Famous Amos and coke!
super cool right out zhuxi :D

walked around.
bought TWILIGHT DVD.
super duper happy i tell you :D hee
but i am broke already ):

morning-
lessons.
we skipped History lesson.
since ms cheong wasnt here.
went to take IC photo.
extremely toootttt.
i gta like clip my ENTIRE fringe up ):
or else it just would not pass.

we went back reached class room round 2.45.
then Loh Ai was there.
why so late?
i am going to report to Mr Phor.

we thought it was real.
then the next thing he said was.
Next time dont do it.
hahas.

right alright.

pretty much ytd.
today was nothing exciting.
many ppl were not here for lessons.
mega bee had to report to sch only at 10.30!
extreme unfairness.

sat under the fan whole day.
super shuang leh.
maisiaosiao.

i want to sit under the fan leh.
who cares if i sit alone.
as long as i am under the fan :D

got pretty pissed at Z during Maths.
aint gna put Zx cos it looks like zhixian. and also ltr someone come
EH MY NAME NO SPACING LARH.
i felt so... angry? quite close i think. i only know i was choked up when talking to prec.
darn.
really pissed.
i mean like i really dont understand wtf you want.
you know you stfu larh.

ms tan also abit.
' this is not simultaneous equalities!'
wtf.
I DONT KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE LEH.
instead of telling me this is no what this is not what.
tell me when do what when do what larh.

wtf -.-
for the 1st time i got pretty pissed with ms tan.
i was like pretty f up already.
then come Z.
tmd.
seriously seriously.
i am gna ignore Z.
irritated,pissed,angry,agitated.
anything you name it.

ok whatever.
i am gna mug for tmr's oral.
but i feel like watching TV.
damnnn.

bye.

Labels: Choir, IC photo, Maths, Z

Right.
Dad is still obsess.
Mum thought he was reading his online news and doings his work.
Then Mum waited.
Till Dad said.
EH this one the price went up!
Mum was like -.-
I THOUGHT YOU WAS DOING YOUR WORK.
WAPIANG HAI ME KOK KOK WAIT.

Dad-
ok ok, give me TWO minutes arh. i sell liao give you back.
Mum-
SELL LIAO LARH ltr lose money.

the next thing you hear is.
Dad-
WALAO you nvr brush teeth so suay say drop then drop.
wa piang.

LOL.
seriously.

Labels: Real Estate Tycoon

i dont like it.
i dont like the way its brought to me.
i dont like how it feels.
i dont like how much the tone can hurt me.
i dont like how easy your words and actions can hurt me.
i dont like how you speak to me.

it sounded as if you dont care.
i dont like the 'i dont care a hoot' idea you are giving me.
you may not know.
how much its hurting me.
simple lil things like an sms without a smiley could hurt me as much.
an sms with dead tone.

all sort of things.
its like you don't bother.
you don't bother if its hurting me.
you don't speak like this to others.
you don't give the same reply to others.
you don't stop smiling the moment you see others.

you make me think again.
was all the struggle worthwhile.

who knows.
the struggle is still on going.

key it in.
i get hurt so badly by those small things.
and worse.
i don't rmb hurting you like that.
cos i don't hurt ppl that i treasure.

right.
you don't care.


why did i make myself go through such tormentation

Labels: you don't care if you are hurting me.

LOL.
today was kinda erm well Eventful in a sense.
my dad got addicted to a game on Facebook named Real Estate Tycoon.

alright my day started off when i shouted bye to auntie and sidney.
aunite decided to bring sidney out.

woke up.
dragged myself to wash up and ready for breakfast.
breakfast in the morning.
just the four of us.
i often think.
what if sidney wasnt born.
how would our life turn out without auntie fixing our house?
hee.

went to the Wet Market after that.
it rained.
darn LOL.

i carried the largest bag of groceries for the day hee :D
went back to the car.
saw jiarong on the way.
waved hi and left (:

homed.
unpack the groceries.
then Dad started his Real Estate Tycoon.
it all started when Calie saw me playing.
and she was like WOW.
then she went to create a face book.
LOL.

Then DAD ended up playing too
he is like her Financial Consultant.
the two of them are hilarious.
you can hear them shouting
EHHHHH why you buy this one so exp??
then calie will.
exp meh?very low leh.
then dad will.
WAPIANG YOU CANNT READ GRAPH ARH.
then mum and i will laugh at each other.

then b4 dinner.
mum was looking for a breather.
she was doing all her homework and stuff.
so she also started PLAYING.
cos calie wants mum to be her Poorest Friend.

then mum was playing and said.
wapiang so easy to earn one arh.
LOL.

the all three coms in my house was on Facebook.
LMAO.

alot of funny things happened to our family thanks to that one leh.
Dad can eat dinner till half.
go and see his com and EH I SELL thisthishthis ESTATE for $$$$$$ dollars leh!
then he will come back and smile at the rice.
LOL.

mum looked at me and say.
SEE your fault now daddy crazy about the game.

seriously.
My dad is so LOL.
oh maisiaosiao.
my dad now got 80mil plus liao le.

PLUS.
he cooked Dinner tonight.
not bad leh.
My dad can cook well.
just that he seldom cook (:

LOL.
so thats pretty much my day.

--

sian tmr got ORAL.
damn.
i told mum then she was like.
aiya.
you YA JIAN ZUI LI.
oral is nothing man.

hahas.
thanks mum .
ha.

alright then.
i am gna watch Campus in anth 15 mins.
hee :D

Labels: calie. ORAL, dad, Facebook, mum, realestatetycoon

Shopping ytd.
Bugis to Vivo.

nvr really liked Bugis.
things there dont really fit me.
i prefer to go Far East.
but nope.

TOO lazy for shopping.
only shop when the need arises :D

HOWEVER.
ytd.
the more you shop, the more you wna spend.
omg larh.
its kinda crazy in the sense that.
you know that it may not fit but it looks nice and tempting so there you go :D

Vivo after Bugis.
went to NewUrbanMale to get my flipflops :D
hee.

Bugis's shop doesnt have much to choose from i guess.

Something super paiseh happened which made my face blush like $%^&*(
seriously.
then faster ZAO.

walked around Vivo.
got home at 7.

Friday-
after went to meet Dum to collect her specs.
she was hungry so we went to KFC.
then after that we realise.
we both are broke.
so we both POURED whatever money we have.
Coins, notes. EVERYTHING.
we had 6.45 :D
so we bought a meal that could use Popular card for a discount for a buck :D
both of us were enthralled :D

we went there.
ordered.
ask to upsize the drink.
then we saw- 6.90.
then we started panicking then asked what happened.
then the auntie say.'haven deduct larh'

warh then we felt relieved.
seriously despo.
hee

sat down.
looked at the menu again.
dum was thinking what else could we have bought.
then she realise with just anth 15cents we could buy something better.
so i said,
' this are times when you know how much as lil as 10-20 cents matters alot'
we both laughed :D
after that we split the remaning money.
we had 55 cents.
i took 35 cents :D hee.
she gave it to me.

Eat,Homework there.
packed for home at 5.45.
dum wanted to photocopy the maths worksheet.
so i asked got money meh?
then she say 10 cents only marh.
then she said' I GOT 20 CENTS LEH!'
maisiaosiao.
hahas.

that was hilarious.
but i still paid for the photocopied one afterall cos i had 35CENTS.
hahas.

LOL.
To add on.
DUM FORGOTTEN SHE HAD PIANO LESSONS. LMAO.

that ben ben der.
piano also can forget.
my 'clever' dum
hahas.

good luck for your Vivo Amazing race today :D

darn funny.
i love you dum :D

alright.
till then.
ginkuan (:

Labels: Shopping.KFC.Dum

omg just back from jogging.
i wna puke damn it.
feel super nauseous now.

SUPER weak nowadays i tell you.
earlier on during MT i fell asleep woke up with a headache.
and recently my hands and feet have been reallly cold.
darn.

mum said too much cold drinks spoilt my body.

i was FIT in the past.
nono.
i was HEALTHY in the past.

now i am sick and weak?
eeww
throw that thought away.
i would excercise more more more!
i decided to jog whenever i can.
preferably three times a week.

I MA BUSY WOMAN!

Labels: fragile, jog, nauseous, weak

Totally pissed off by EYEBALL-less.
i cannt stand it.

its a prob between E(EYEBALL-less) and M.

E saw M with me today.
we purposely walked seperate ways but E still saw us.
so,
E got $%^&* up and called M.
E was like grumbling whatever in the phone asking M to go find E and ps me.
M was frustrated so M said she also my friend want me to ps her?
I was getting frustrated so i told M.
give me the phone.
M din wanted to as E was standing quite a distance away.
i wanted to tell E.
whats your problem man.wtf you want.
who are you to control M?

If i were M i would just Kop E's phone seriously.
wtf is your problem larh.
so what if you only got M.
thats cos you are sucha LOSER.
Luckily it was M.
M still tried to compromise with E.
wtf.
i would just say bye.
I would not even need a person like E to be around me.

however it made me thought.
should i really make things worse for M.
maybe i should just not wait for M.

But thinking.
Why should because of E affect things between me and M?
I dont want M to suffer thats why.
and E is sucha control freak if it was me.
The communication would already been cut OFF.
E keep threatening M larh wtf.

M doesnt want to hurt E.
THATS WHY.

M told me that it angered M.
then i was like you angry still smiling arh?
The next thing M told me was about this sch with nice ppl and M was all high over it.
OMG.

you call that angry.
that M was like how is angry?
then M tried to act angry which ended up being extremely hilarious.
M was like' walao eh'
and try to give a very jiao face.

what do you expect from sucha nice face can produce a jiao bin?
hahas.

M has the Natural blush the whole day.
so i teased M.
'M you see me then xin tiao jia su right? XD (you see me then your heart pump and blush)'
then M was like awww .
LOL.
crazy M

Bottom line:
FUCK OFF E.
you suck.
you are sucha loser.
know how to spell loser?
L
O
S
E
R

Leave M alone. quit threatening M.
YOU SUCK LARH.
LOSER FREAK.

lastly.
you can nvr know how to treasure M.
cos you are E( EYEBALL-LESS)

Labels: FUCK OFF E

i dont want to see.
i dont want to think.
i dont want to feel.
i dont want to hear.
i dont want to KNOW anything about it.

damn it.
everytime i see it.
everytime i see something new about it i feel horrible.
i felt so cut off.
wait.
when was i not cut off?
when was there something i knew?

damn.
it sucks.
i wished i was like you ppl.
happy with it.
i aint.

there are many things to rant about.
Many.
it could be pages long and ppl will think i am just typing all the negatives no positives.
whatever.

i aint getting what i should this particular job.
ppl are getting higher than what they derserve when they just slack off and away.
ask me to get ppl to help.
i asked.
help given?
no.
just thrown behind you head.
i aint the head of it.
i am just Assisting it and i have more things to do than i should.
for this, almost everything is on me.

i know its complicating trying to understand cos EVERYTHING that i wanna rant about it mixed together.

--
whatever.
there is so much to think about.

Labels: complicated.

001. Real name → Chua Gin Kuan

002. Nickname(s) → Gk

04. Zodiac sign → Scorpio

0o5. Male or female → Female

006. Elementary → Shuqun Primary

007. Middle School → Fuhua Secondary

008. University → I WANT NUS LAW FACULTY

009. Friends → Yes.

010. Hair color → Black with some tint of brown

011. Long or short Hair → Short

012. Loud or Quiet → LOUDD

013. Sweats or Jeans → Sweats

014. Phone or Camera → Phone

015. Health freak → Alright? more like neat freak

016. Drink or Smoke? →NONE

017. Do you have a crush on someone? → No ATM

018. Eat or Drink → Yes.

019. Piercings → nope. too afraid of pain

020. Tattoos → Pain

FIRSTS ;

023. First piercing → Nope

024. First best friend → Anne? Dum? i do have alot of friends i treasure, i guess you can count them in.

025. First award → Cant rmb

026. First crush → Pretty Long Ago.

027. First pet → GOLD FISH

030. First big birthday → 1st? dad booked a chalet

CURRENTLY ;

049. Eating → No

050. Drinking → No

052. I'm about to → Sleep

053. Listening to → Last Night By Diddy Feat Keyshia Cole

054. Plans for today → Last plan- sleep

055. Waiting for → This quiz to end

YOUR FUTURE ;

058. Want kids? → Yea. 2 i think.

059. Want to get married? → When i meet the right person

060. Careers in mind → Lawyer, professional Debater

WHICH IS BETTER ?

068. Lips or eyes → Eyes

070. Shorter or taller? → TALLER

072. Romantic or spontaneous → 40% Romantic. 60% Spontaneous

073. Nice stomach or nice arms → NONE

074. Sensitive or loud → Both

075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship

076. Trouble maker or hesitant → IDK

HAVE YOU EVER ;

080. Lost glasses/contacts → No. but i broke my glasses before

081. Ran away from home → No.

082. Held a gun/knife for self defense → No.

083. Killed somebody → No

084. Broken someone's heart → i think so.

085. Been arrested → YES and its for a darn lame reason

087. Cried when someone died → I dont think so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ;

089. Yourself → depends

090. Miracles → I just hope

091. Love at first sight → Yes

092. Heaven → IDK

093. Santa Claus → i want my very own Santa Claus

094. Male Nipples → OMG

095. Kiss on the first date → NO.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY ;

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → No

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No

099. Do you believe in God → Nothing about religion please.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

→i shall not Sabo any one.

i was being Sabo by Roshawn.

LOL.

Labels: Darn Roshawn