Hahas.
I can finally smile.

Why did we place ourselves through this kind of ordeal?
Take a breate, make it deep.
Say what you need.
Finally able to smile:D

Well.
I have to carry on with my packing.
Uncle's bag is damn big!
Abit erm..
BUT i cannot find my bag-.-
I have NO idea where it went.
But still, Big bag=GOOD.
I can stuff everything inside :D

Right.
Apparently Adina doesn't share the same amount of humour as me.
):

Bye ppl!
PACK PACK PACK :D

My family left for Malaysia at 5 this morning.
I woke up then.
I am currently at GrandAunt's house :D
With Granduncle, uncle and aunt.
Hee.
I had a bloated dinner.
Good Food :D

I prefer to eat with my GranA cause its alot more budget.
I am currently on a very tired budget.
And GranA's house is the best place to stay and save money.
Here, i dont't have to worry about food.
:D

I ll go home tmr.
On aircon and sleep :D
Muahahaha.

Breakfast tomorrow is also settle
I am just very worried about homework ):
I HAVENT START YET.
OMFG.

I hope the holidays will be extended then i will have more time to do my work :D

Aunt and Uncle are all sick.
I hope i dont get the virus.
I've got OBS!
I haven't pack etc.

I am really going to go crazy.
I've got to meet Miser tomorrow.
IDK what to expect whatsoever.
I ain't going to think about it
Alright ending here.

Bye Love(s)
Ginkuan

I witnessed the change.

You simply love your rackets.
I get it.

I ll survive :D

Well.
The Teaser Trailer for new moon came out LOL.
I had a pretty hard time looking for MTV awards 2009.
Then i found this pretty cool part.
Kristen Stewart dropped her award!
LOL!

Lets watch :D
Edit:
The video cannot run ):
Well i ll give you the link then!
There are many more other videos!

Whole MTV awards too :D
http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/395507/2009-mtv-movie-awards-kristen-stewart-wins-best-female-performance.jhtml#id=1611658

/Edit

Well, today is Friday.
Thus marking the end of AEM.
I made a video out of what we did today.
Its pretty lame.
I just found the function on my mum's lap :D
So i thought i used it!

I had a pretty ridiculous dream previous nights.
Before all the problems started.

Guess its a lighter note.

I actually dreamt of Miser.
Yes.
LOL.
I dreamt i was on the phone with Miser and Kukujiao( KKJ )
Then suddenly my dad.
Grab my phone.
Then "Hello!" to think of his expression makes me shudder.
Cause its pretty scary.
My dad's eyes are like buldging.
Then my dad " He is Miser right?!"( He said Miser's name in the dream LOL)
Then i was like erm.
Aiya "Ya larh ya larh" just admit LOL.

Then i was like 'But also have KKJ on the phone!'
Then KKJ was like ' What happen what happen?!'
Miser kop the phone.
LOL.

Then i think i woke up.

Yes its the lighter note.

'Heavier' note.
I have NO idea, why do you want to make it sound offensive and hurt me.
Idk if you misunderstood what i said.
I said i May be ready.
Not that i want.

Get over it and quit insulting me.
The moment i read what you typed, my blood boiled.
My anger peaked.
Its the worse ever insult and i NEVER expected it to come from YOU.

Its bad cause when i read that i was having lessons.
I was around the girls.
I cannot let that distract what i was doing.
Imagine handling chemicals then let this kind of things distract you!

Its aggravating.
Till this point of time.
If giving my ego up, would do us any good.
I think i will.

&
Dont ever give me this crap again.
Eg:
Ya ya, everything my fault.
My fault.
You forever right.
--
I think i will really slap you.
I dont care if you break my hand.


LOOK BIG AND WIDE.
I am giving my bloody pathetic ego up for you.
Dont lose it.

Labels: Dont lose it.

I may be ready to lose the superficial you.
But definitely NOT my safety harbour.

No, i ain't going to show the weak side of me.
It must just satiate your chauvinist thoughts.
I hope my bloody pathetic ego would not cause me to regret what ever is going to happen.
You need to at least tell me some thing.
Let me be prepared.

Determination.
Thats whats going to happen.

Just came back from SP round 7.
SP is BIG.
We need to seriously find our way.
V jialat lorh i think.

Labs and class rooms are air conditioned.
Food there is COOL :D
LOL. Subway is cheaper by 20%! Hee.
Super cool right.
But there really v hard to find your way around.

The classroom is filled with alot different smells LOL.
Some like damn smelly.
Some very nice.
But after smelling so much.
Your nose will very ... idk how to explain.
But will like v prickly.

LOL.
Go there train my nose :D

--

Its really irritating.
You owe me tons of explanation but you are giving me none.
You are leaving me like an idiot.

Don't leave it hanging there.
When something needs to be cleared.
It has to be explained.

I am starting to doubt myself.
If it just stop here, I would lose more than just a soulmate.
My safety harbour.
Now i am doubting that my decision at first was right.
Its pretty annoying for me to keep doubting myself.

Prove me wrong before i cannot take it anymore.

--

Its nice to just talk.
Feels super cool.
Wish i did not have to alight LOL.
But i overstayed leh.
Deduct 2 bucks ):

&&
Mum is stucked with Pets Society.
LOL.
Facebook is just like a drug.
1st let my Dad addict to Real Estate Tycoon.
Next Mum addict to Pets' Society.
Wapiang.
LOL.

I came home then i see Mum playing LOL!

More lesson at SP tomorrow.
We are going to get to study Chanel 5 tomorrow.
I think Aizhen is going to go crazy tomorrow.
Hahas.

Alright i'll end here.

With Love
Ginkuan

I desperately need some one to talk to.
I need to talk to Dum.

Just nice she sleeping.
I feel like waking her up.
Nothing beats talking to her now.
Dum is NOT always there for me.
But when she is there, everything is fine.
I just plainly miss my dum.

Its been pretty long since i last saw her.
Stupid girl.
I am going to spam her phone tomorrow morning.
I need to talk to her.
Before i lose my sanity.

I can see from your reaction, you think that its purely my problem.

Fine if you want to think that way.
I told you.
Or more likely i hinted you.
This is going to be some thing close to a one way thing.
Until i was able to trust you again.

Things you do aren't making me trust you.
You don't seem to know when is the correct timing.
To me, looking for Shimona means nothing.
But you have to strike a balance.
You aren't.
Have you ever thought, when people ask me where are you.
I tell them Shimona.
People will start to wonder why, no matter how much i don't want to let others' words to get into my head.
Do you think its possible?
With you constantly leaving.

Worse today.
You bloody just walked in.
Without telling me anything.
What does that feel?
And you did that TWICE today.

I felt cheated.
With you just walking away like that.
You tell me you cannot locate us.
Than why did you not even tell me where you are going.
Maybe if you say i would feel better.
You don't have to report.
At least a need to know limit?

With Shimona within a 5 KM radius, things changed alot.
Things like how you react.
I still hate that part.
YOU BLOODY JUST WALKED AWAY.
Worse, when i texted you.
You bloody think you are still in the right.
When i said some stuffs.
You still thought i was kidding.
I wasn't kidding when i said i have my limit.

Do you know how annoying it is to want to talk to you.
But having anger holding me back.
My bloody pathetic ego.

You think you are right.
I ain't going to give in this time.
You think i don't cherish.

This time, i gave you your chance.
You screwed it single handedly.
Its not my fault.
I gave what i should.


You lost my trust before.
Its ain't coming back that easily anymore.
If things carry on like that.

It would just be a matter of time before things hits my limit.

You bloody don't even apologise.
Oh yea right.
Male Chauvunist.

Go on.
I am just sick and tired.

I am just pretty happy tomorrow is the last day of Aviva.
I wasn't able to enjoy Aviva this couple of days.
I was only able to enjoy the first day.

Aviva takes up
Money.
Time.
And due to some.
My mood was entirely hopeless.

Some maybe even thinking i am ridiculously UNREASONABLE.
But seriously,WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY.
When people asked me, ' Whats happening?'

What do you bloody expect from me.
This is extremely aggravating.

Tired.
Thats the word.
Pressure.
Thats the word.
Aggravated.
Thats the word.

Sick and tired.

School's 10th anniversary later on.
Quite late.

I havent start on the holiday homework.
Dont seem to have the mood to.
Going to attend all the training next week.
Life at home is just way too boring.

--

I can no longer be bothered about Miser.
Since he seemed that he can't be bothered as well.
You love one liner answers don't you.

--

I ll find something to do.

I totally hate the way you put things.
'Anyway, just now, you are talking to my dad. Maybe you can be more polite'

That totally pissed me off.
Its not my falut that your dad just catch the unglam side of what i said.
Or maybe its the part where i was joking about girls playing Combat Arms.

If you even think that i am out to offend your dad then you aint worth it.
You should know me enough to know what i meant.
Can't you hear my joking tone?

It totally pisses me off.
If you think thats impolite.
Try me.
I ll show you whats real impolite.

You aren't trying to solve problems
You just let them go.
You just avoid them.
Thats not how its suppose to be.

And if you think messing your hair is trying to make you look ugly.
Then you are bloody wrong.
I don't do that just to anybody.

Its how ass its feels to actually complain here.
Saying it right into your face is going to hurt.
Its agonizing really.

I am trying.
I can see you too.

There are lots of things that had gone wrong.
Its really extreme.
I am either damn happy.
Or damn pissed with you.


But what if we just werent meant to be?
Thanks for helping with my essay.
I appreciate it reallly.

Its not suppose to hurt anymore.
Cause I am already too numb to by the pain to feel anymore.
Thats my limit.
There is absolutely no way I can control my feelings.
Even if i know i should not.
But everytime i see words/things regarding it, I would just flinch.
Or anything under the Sun that would remind me of it.
I would just flinch.
Its no use knowing i should not.

I wished i could just control.
Practise makes perfect.
Maybe till some day, i would no longer be affected.
Not even the slightest of recoil.

Thats the day i hate you.
When i no longer feel the pain.
The day i can finally let go of you.
Free myself of you.
I no longer want to have anything to do with you.
Buts thats going to take a long ordeal.
Thinking what past.
Its tough eh?

Nothing is impossible.
M.I.4

My very own mission impossible